The year is almost over, can you believe that? It was just yesterday that... well, you could say that it feels like some fever dream, but more of what we can already guess is a slop fest. And a definition of that at best. Because, once again, what is even this year? Yeah, in comparison, in your opinion, it felt like 2020 had never left, as if you were coming out of a coma or treating it like you still have quarantine living rent-free in your head, as if everything is nothing more than a dream. But on the other hand, you feel like it's a good year... if you ignore a potential economic crash in the works, a possible war in Venezuela, an ongoing g*nocide in the Middle East, deportations/kidnappings from left to right, and oh yeah, the Patriots are back in contention for the playoffs. We traded one evil empire with the Chiefs and transferred it back to the Patriots after 20 years under their reign. Yeah, it's not the same Patriots, but no one likes an evil empire. That’s how it goes.
But yeah, 2025... still don’t know what the hell you are with only a few weeks left. I would say I could have a year-end countdown ready to go, but at the time of writing the episode introduction, much like last year with “Advice Things Are Ad-Nice” to close out 2024, we have an episode coming up at the end of this month to close out 2025. Best to say it now and post it on the socials if y’all haven’t checked that out, which you should, because that’s where the updates should be. As for the year-end countdown... who freaking knows. Maybe I could do as planned and have it saved in the drafts or queue it up, you know, work in advance, but I don’t want to burn myself out going into 2026. Though I could do early January, it would give the current season of Fionna and Cake time to wrap up, since that season won’t end until we get to Christmas Day.
In this week’s episode of Bob’s Burgers, Gene and Courtney get into a heated custody battle over an injured lizard that they were supposed to be taking care of, as the rest of the Belchers deal with Gayle living with them for a while hosting her own business of giving people massages in my spoilerific review of the eighth episode of Season 16 of Bob’s Burgers, titled “Les Lizárdables”.
Animal responsibility is no joke. Taking care of an animal can be a challenge compared to raising a kid, especially when you find a wild animal lying on the ground and nurse it back to health. Or at least try to call in a veterinarian to step up to the plate and do the job for them, rather than having to rely on what you think are solutions by having to search up on the internet. That is exactly what it is with this episode, with Gene and Courtney having to tend to a lizard that was injured... that would turn into a heated custody battle over who would have full control or a shared joint, something coming out of a divorce hearing.
Of course, this happens to be a Gene episode, so be it for this week, and it has been a while since we last had an episode centered around him. And this isn’t me shitting on Gene or anything, it’s just his episodes as of late, or anything in general, aren’t all that great. And the least that I would be excited about. I’m not saying that all Gene episodes are bad through the show’s history that last for nearly 15 years, good God, next month is really going to be the show’s 15th year on the air, look at that, but there are some alright, if not, some good Gene episodes within that patch like “OT: The Outside Toilet”, “Itty Bitty Ditty Committee”, and “The Gene and Courtney Show” as some examples that there are some good Gene episodes. Though that’s mostly coming from the earlier seasons. The later seasons, on the other hand, have more misses than hits.
And this one, well, it might be a miss as well, with how things played out with Gene having to attempt to tend to the lizard, even though he’s only doing it because he wants to be noticed, because he saw a student wearing a shark tooth necklace? Okay? Though he and responsibility don’t usually go hand in hand, and even though he did at least pull through in the end, yeah, I’m going to say this again, Gene episodes these days aren’t the ones that I’m looking forward to. But, might as well get to the nitty-gritty of things from top to bottom, and that is exactly what I’ll be doing. This is “Les Lizárdables”.
The episode begins with Mr. Frond wrapping up the morning announcements for the entire student body of Wagstaff, mainly the fourth, sixth, and eighth grade classes, hearing what Frond had to say that would come back to the Belcher siblings once the announcement comes to an end and for the camera to cuts to the next scene with the siblings leaving school for the day. The announcement that Frond was making in question is a peer meditation group that is running, where he would expect students to join and use their words, create a debate, to settle a dispute, rather than having to resort to violence to settle the argument. Pretty much what you would expect at the Thanksgiving dinner table whenever politics gets brought up. The Belcher siblings were hoping to join the meditation group as a joke entry, but it is something they want to try out for real. Mostly because of that one incident they had at the cafeteria a few weeks ago, where they played around with the milk that got them in trouble by Frond, with them given the option of either serving detention or watching a 15-minute video to become a peer mediator. Even though the kids are somewhat mediators since they’re pretty much the main characters in their own respective stories, once they go into the climax. Even if it feels like the conclusion is on some Disney Channel writing. So, I’m pretty sure they’re fine as they are when it comes to mediating certain situations.
Of course, this is a Gene episode, so the focus for this week is on him as he and his sisters are making their way towards the exit, he spots a random student wearing a shark tooth necklace, which gets the attention of a few students. And Gene wants that. He wants the attention that should make him a big shot. The life and times of being the middle child. Yeah, I mean, he could do that with just music and theater alone to make a name for himself, but most of the time, it’s mostly random stuff that should make him the talk of the school, and that’s something that Gene wants. Even though it’s just a fad and most fads fade away in a short time due to the fact that kids have short attention spans. But other than that, it’s Gene wanting to get the attention. He wants something that should make him the talk of the school. And it looks like he may spot his window of opportunity once he goes outside the school grounds.
As he spots Courtney by the tree as she spots something that caught her attention. She spots a lizard that had been injured from a bird attack by a random crow and looks a bit stunned after that apparent attack, which caused the reptile to freeze as if one small movement would cause the bird to retaliate. The lizard happened to be a five-lined skink, and Courtney knows that because she has a cousin who has a type of lizard like that and kept it as a pet. And she thinks that, given the shape the reptile is in following the attack that it would be a good idea to let a professional do the job, like a veterinarian, or drop it off at the animal sanctuary. However, Gene has a different idea by having both him and Courtney tend the lizard. Oh yeah, that seems to be a good idea for someone who doesn’t have responsibility to fit into his vocabulary from time to time.
Especially since the idea was brought up because, once again, he needed his shark tooth moment. Something to make him the talk of the school, and the lizard happens to be his ticket to be a name stead. Especially when going through that brief fantasy of him entering the school with the lizard on his shoulder, something coming out of a buddy cop movie after he got one compliment from Peter Pescadero after walking past both him and Courtney at the site of the incident that took place.
Yeah, you can probably tell that Gene is probably doing this for the wrong reason because he only want the lizard, with Courtney’s care, just so he can be a bigshot so once the lizard is good to go, then he would around town, primarily the school, so he can make a name for himself as if he is aiming to become a would-be hotshot. And as much as Courtney don’t want to do this, mainly because taking care of an animal takes up a lot of responsibility, something that Gene (and also Louise and Tina) couldn’t do when it comes to being responsible to taking care of an animal, hence, why they shouldn’t even have a pet, she can’t get out of it and decides to bring it home to be taken of. Especially since she has an empty tank that should be the right environment for the lizard, because the tank used to belong to her turtle. But can’t do it alone and asks Gene to help out for once in his life, rather than planning on slacking off or doing something stupid. And it would be at Courtney’s house rather than at Gene’s place because, again, Gene would not know what to do when taking care of the lizard. But also because of what to expect going into the next scene.
Because we enter the subplot of the episode where Linda tells Bob that Gayle will come over. Not for a one-night visit for dinner, but to live with them for a few days. Hence, Linda told Bob to take his allergy medication in advance since Gayle will have to take her cats with her to the apartment. And it’s the non-hallucination kind because of what happened the last time Bob took that, if you remember “Turkey in a Can”. And the reason for Gayle’s stay is that the pipes in her apartment burst, and her landlord needs the time for the cleanup crew to arrive to patch the building up. Hence, why Gayle had to take refuge for a few days, and for Bob to take the medicine in advance. Though putting it out there, allergy shots. Best to take that without having to rely on medication, even if Bob might be a bit of a needle weenie. But it’s a stay that Bob is not looking forward to because, of course, Gayle would have to bring her cats, and knowing Bob, it’s not a good look and could be moments away from getting a car ride to the hospital. But it looks like the cat issue won’t be the only thing that Bob should be concerned about.
Because Gayle, as of late, is taking up the massage business, wanting to test the waters, as she plans on turning the room she’ll be staying, which is Tina’s room, into a place of business. It is going to be a long week for the Belchers, and especially Bob, when dealing with Gayle’s antics. Though I’m sure you need a license to perform a massage, whereas Gayle, who doesn’t have one and didn’t even bother taking a class other than watching a tutorial on YouTube or TikTok, decides to wing it and see where this goes. Hopefully, that doesn’t result in a potential lawsuit or a violation in the making. And then no one will get a happy ending... and I apologize for making that joke.
We checked on the lizard at Courtney’s house, in her room, with Courtney struggling to give the lizard its food, as Gene entered the scene to see the lizard. Almost the same way as some pet users, mostly dog and cat users, try to feed them their own food, but struggle to convince them to do it, and would rather eat human food. Pretty sure this lizard is nothing like the other animals, unless you want to give them flies, then Courtney would probably have Gene capture a few from the dumpster in the alleyway. But Courtney tried various ways to get the lizard to take its food, but alas, to no avail, it ain’t taking its food. Of course, Gene is acting like an impatient kid hoping to take something they’re not supposed to with something or someone they found with him, wanting to take the lizard with him just to make himself look cool and noticeable because middle child problems. Courtney, of course, scolds Gene because the lizard is injured and needs to be taken care of. Not to mention, he should be doing his part in taking care of the reptile instead of messing around. With the lizard not doing anything, this results in Gene leaving the house for the night as Courtney continues to find ways to make sure she gives the lizard food. And knowing that it’s early in the episode, he is not going to go down until he gets his opportunity to spend time with the lizard.
Going into the next scene, later into the night, and things are uh... interesting turn of events at the Belcher residence as everyone can hear the loud gruntal sounds coming from inside Tina’s room as if it's more than just the massage that Gayle is working on with her client from inside the room. To the point where you might as well turn it into a mini brothel because it does feel like something that is coming out of said brothel just by hearing the sounds alone. A cacophony that the Belchers are going to have to get used to for the next few days, not just dealing with Gayle’s cats roaming around. Which is already bad news if you’re Bob, because dealing with the influx of cats invading the apartment wasn’t bad enough for the guy. And now, with whatever Gayle is doing, which is giving people massages, that almost feels like it’s more than just that the family can hear, and getting themselves a front row seat, you can tell that having to deal with an in-law staying with you for a few days, even if their place has to be patched up and running a small business with little to no experience of how to become a masseuse, is going to be a huge pain in the ass.
Transitioning to the next day at Courtney’s house after school, and it looks like Courtney did find a way to get the lizard, now given the name Linus, its food. All she had to do was close the curtains in her room and turn off the lights to make it look dark, except the UV lights, and had to sing the lizard a song so that he, turns out the lizard is a male lizard, for things to go right when having to tend the lizard. So, things are slowly looking on the up and up for the lizard... all by Courtney’s lonesome because she still need Gene’s help, but all Gene want to do is typical middle child behavior, no shade at every middle child in the world since my sister is a middle child of the family, wanting to be noticed with the lizard in tow. His shark tooth necklace moment. Especially with Courtney asking him to hold the bag as she prepares to clean the tank, once she puts on the gloves. Only for Gene to take the lizard out, much to Courtney’s dismay, to make her do all the work while Gene, of course, fools around and slacks off.
Which is exactly what we see going into the montage of the episode, with Gene messing around with the lizard on his hands, fishing for compliments like it’s a video you spot on your timeline that has a clickbait title or thumbnail that should get your attention. That is exactly what Gene is doing when having Linus at the palm of his hand. Using the lizard as his would-be golden ticket to get some recognition from everyone. Hoping for a “Oh wow, look at that. That kid has a nice-looking lizard on his shoulder/hand.” Meanwhile, you have Courtney doing all of the work, and I mean ALL of the work. Mainly, her having to clean Linus’s tank by herself. You can guess what kind of “parenting” dynamic Gene and Courtney have when watching over Linus. Less of what I thought was borrowing the playbook from “Great Bus of Choir Adventure” with Wolf and Honeybee, and more of that one SpongeBob episode with SpongeBob and Patrick raising a baby clam. Pretty much making Gene the Patrick in this situation.
While in the same montage, you have the Belchers continuing to deal with the disturbing sounds of what Gayle is making inside Tina’s room in a deafening manner, as if it were blasting through the speakers in ultra high quality. Once again, thinking that it’s probably more than just a simple massage from Gayle to her clients that it feels like happy endings all around, once again, sorry for that joke. What is not a joke is Bob’s continuous suffering as he continues to suffer through an allergy attack when being around Gayle’s cats, treating it as if the medication he is taking isn’t doing any favors. Don’t know if the ones that make him hallucinate seemed to be the strongest of the medication when dealing with allergies in comparison to ones without any hallucinations as a side effect, in preparation for Gayle’s stay for a few days, but it seems that it is not working for the medication that Bob had to take ahead of Gayle’s stay with the Belchers. Once again, feel free to take an allergy shot as it seems to be the most effective, and no, it doesn’t cause autism. Fuck off with that anti-vax bullshit.
Linda says that enough is enough and decides to intervene, along with the kids and Bob, because they, too, got tired of the sounds that Gayle is making, but also wants to see what the hubbub is all about. And well, the results speak for themselves when seeing Gayle, not doing an “act”, but instead, it’s her way to make people destress by... pinching. Yes, pinching. Doctors obviously can’t recommend this action, so you might as well apply the “do not try this at home” tagline after seeing this episode. But that is what Gayle is doing as her method to help people feel better with one of her clients. Oh yeah, talk about a throwback, as you remember the guy that Gayle is working on is the guy who the kids and Bob assume is a child molester all the way back to the very first episode of the series. As for the pinching aspect of things... once again, doctors pretty much don’t recommend it, but who knows what any masseuse have a trick up their sleeve that hopefully doesn’t turn into an HR and PR nightmare.
We reached the end of the first act of the episode with Gene getting an unexpected visit at the door, and it happens to be Courtney, who happens to drop Linus off to be with Gene, but not before having to scold him. Calling him out for not doing his part in taking care of the lizard since she had to do all of the work, and also calling him out for slacking off because all Gene wants to do is be around the lizard and wants to be noticed, and fishing for compliments. In short, she is pretty much calling Gene a deadbeat dad for not doing his part. It is definitely the baby clam situation with the lizard, and now, ending the first act of the episode, she is handing Linus and his stuff for Gene to do his job for once in his life. Especially since she has to go away for the weekend for an all-girls trip... though, is it really a girls' trip if your dad is involved for the ride? You think you would’ve just called it a family trip if Doug got involved in said trip. But aside from that, Courtney thinks that it’s a good idea for Gene to do his part for once, since it has his call to have them tend the lizard rather than let a professional take over, as she plans on going out of town for the weekend. Leaving Gene to do the job for her. He wants to spend time with the lizard, well... here it is. And it also comes with a bag filled with responsibility to take up. Though Gene and responsibility in the same sentence, going into the second act of the episode?
Yeah, seems about right when it comes to this situation. Now, granted, he took good care of the talking toilet in Season 3’s “OT: The Outside Toilet” and Purrbo in Season 12’s “A-sprout a Boy” and should at least know a thing or two about taking care of things. But a living being like a lizard is a whole different story. And you remember what Bob and Linda said to the kids at the start of Season 8’s “Brunchsquatch” when the kids tried to convince their parents about wanting a pet. Aside from the cost for necessities like food and other things, the pet needs the attention and the responsibility that come with it. Something the Gene, along with Tina and Louise, is lacking because it’s too much work, and they don’t like working. You could make a counterargument with Tina about her babysitting duties when we saw her watching over Gene and Louise, oftentimes, she grows a backbone when dealing with Louise, and also her time with Kendra, but a pet is a huge responsibility next to, of course, raising a kid. And it looks like Gene is about to learn it the hard way, going into the second act. And we’re talking about the same guy who accidentally fed a dog, a puppy, chocolate without even noticing in last season’s Christmas episode.
Though, missed opportunity there when it comes to dealing with a lizard. And I say that because this would’ve been the moment to bring Nat in, or at least, a mention to help Gene with this situation. And Nat would’ve been the reasonable choice in the matter because she knows a thing or two about reptiles, especially lizards. And I know you’re going to say that Nat would only be brought in if the episode were written by Wendy and Lizzie because she’s pretty much their baby. But remember, remember, Season 14’s “The Pickleorette”, when we had Nat for a bit, that was under a different writer. So, stranger things could’ve happened to at least have Nat serve as a lifeline to help Gene in his situation, going into the second act. But yeah, missed opportunity to bring Nat in, even if she would probably serve as a “get out of jail free card” for Gene, because Courtney really needs him to do his part after having to slack off since picking up the reptile and bringing it home to be taken care of.
Onto the second act of the episode, it’s Gene’s time to shine to babysit Linus the Lizard, fully named Linus Belcher-Wheeler, as he plans on doing what Courtney has tasked him to do for the weekend, with the Belchers and Gayle getting their first look at the reptile in question before taking Linus to his room. Though the way both Claw Paw Van Dame and Mr. Business are looking at the reptile... yeah, like the bird that attacked the lizard at the start of the episode that led to Gene and Courtney having to pick up the reptile, predictable foreshadowing.
But other than that, no luck for Gene to give Linus his food going into the next scene in his room. Not doing the same thing as what Courtney did earlier before leaving for her trip. Trying to do his own thing, or at least, how Courtney did before having to switch things up. Already shows that Gene, at the beginning, did not do his part in taking care of the reptile, and is now struggling to do his part. Once again, it was his call to have him and Courtney tend the lizard rather than let a professional do its job. So now, it looks like Gene will have to follow what Courtney did before leaving for the weekend. Giving him a book of instructions on how to properly feed the lizard, and decides to do just that. Mainly dimming the room and singing a song that Courtney made up to get Linus to take its food.
Check on the subplot for a bit, and it looks like Bob’s allergies seem to be getting worse, with a portion of his face being puffed up with hives on his face to make it impossible for him to widely open his eyes, as if he is going through a case of eczema breaking out. I see the non-hallucinative allergy medication doesn’t seem to do the trick in this situation, as the results show. Especially since it’s only been... what? Two days now since Gayle had to take refuge at the apartment, and who knows how long the broken pipe is going to be patched up, so it looks like Bob might as well be in Hell for the time being when being around cats. Let alone dealing with cat dander plaguing the air. Gayle offers Bob an opportunity to solve his allergy situation by letting her give him a massage. She wants him to be her client for her business, and his allergies seem to be Gayle’s opportunity to do the job. Of course, Bob refuses to take up Gayle’s offer because we now know that her way of giving people massages, which is pretty much the same way it’s St. Patrick’s Day, and you’re being punished for not wearing green, he would rather ride this one out. His funeral.
Going back to the main plot of the episode, it looks like Linus finally got his breakfast. And it looks like Gene has finally done something while taking care of the reptile. Mostly stemming from having to follow the instructions that Courtney laid out for him to read by dimming the lights by closing the curtains in his room and flipping the light switch, along with singing the song that Courtney sang to get the lizard to eat its food, but he has done the impossible. He fed a lizard. He did something that he was supposed to do at the beginning of all of this, rather than having to fool around and wanting the lizard to be with him so he could fish for compliments. But got it through regardless, and that’s more than enough to tell his family at the breakfast table the good news... except for the fact that he left the tank open without even bothering to put the lid back in. Not to mention letting his bedroom door open, which would, yes, let Gayle’s cats enter the room.
This puts Gene in a very difficult spot as a result of what just happened. Didn’t even bother closing the door, and I mean fully closing it so that the cats don’t open it. And now, things are not looking good for Gene regarding the situation with Linus, now losing a tail as if the lizard might die in the process, even though lizards can survive because of the ability to regenerate to create a new tail, but Gene is supposed to be watching over the reptile. Making sure that nothing bad happens to it, especially if it means having the reptile be detached from its tail, which was injured when it was first found. And now, because of him accidentally not placing the lid on the tank, let alone closing his bedroom door, it’s something that he cannot get out of, and would now have to deal with the consequences, despite that lizards can regrow their tails. But it’s something that Gene was hoping to avoid, but here we are, because we have to have conflict somehow, since we are nearing the halfway mark of the episode.
So, going to the montage, especially after making a phone call to the hotel to deliver Courtney a message about the situation, that he knows she is going to be pissed upon returning, Gene really did give it his all in the situation. Having to do some research to treat the reptile after going through a state of panic following what Gayle’s cats did. Giving it a nice little bath. Follow the instructions on the paper when feeding it. He is trying his best to pretty much beat the deadbeat dad label since originally, he was hoping to take the lizard, so he makes himself look noticeable to the public after seeing one of the students get some people’s attention for wearing a shark tooth necklace. Pretty much forgotten about all of that since... well, everything that just transpired as of late. Once again, missed opportunity for this episode to at least bring Nat into the conversation. Especially with the current pickle that Gene is in after witnessing the tail being cut off by Gayle’s cats, thinking that Linus is some sort of toy.
This leads us to the end of the first half of the episode, and it seems that Courtney did receive the news about the situation, as well as look at the injury firsthand. She already scolded Gene for not doing his part in taking care of the lizard earlier in the episode, because he was pretty much using her to have the lizard latch onto him to fish out some compliments before showing that he actually cared for the reptile the moment he followed Courtney’s instructions to feed it. And by the way, if anyone is going to take the blame for all of this... well, it’s pretty much a shared blame because, yes, Gene was irresponsible and hadn’t done Dickey McGee’s acts in taking care of the lizard since it was his idea not to let a professional do its job, Courtney would also take some blame because you think she would know what she has gotten into when it comes to Gene and having to be tasked to be responsible for a living being that isn’t a talking mechanical toilet that was stolen or a Tamagotchi digital cat before having to subvert expectations, which she finds out the hard way later in the episode.
But for now, to close out the first half of the episode, Gene pretty much got his Linus access revoked after what happened that resulted in the tail being ripped off. Once again, the lizard can grow its tail back, so it’ll live in comparison to every other animal that doesn’t have regenerative capabilities, other than a starfish, as one example. But that’s not going to stop Courtney from taking Linus away from Gene, as if a parent or a CPS officer were to take the child away due to uncomfortable situations that would put them in danger.
Onto the second half of the episode at school, and yes, Courtney is still upset at Gene for what happened to Linus that led to his tail being cut off by Gayle’s cats once Gene walked up to her by her locker. Already feels bad about what happened and hopes for her to give him another chance. But it looks like Gene is about to get even more bad news, aside from not having to see the lizard. Because Courtney plans on shipping Linus to her cousin, who knows a thing or two about lizards. And Gene doesn’t like the idea because as if he can’t see the reptile within a 5-mile radius, the fact that he can’t probably see the lizard and hand it to someone else who lives outside of town sounds pretty diabolical if you’re Gene, but sounds like it’s for the best if you’re Courtney as if we’re treating the lizard like an abused child. We here at Yahoo201027 do not condone child abuse, even in a slice-of-life sitcom like this one, and like to apologize for making that comment. All in GTA. We live in a sick world.
Their argument caught Mr. Frond’s attention as he may have found his diamond in the coal mine for his peer meditation program. A custody battle over Linus the Lizard, like it’s a divorce case, fighting over who gets full custody of the child because of what happened back there at Gene’s place that resulted in Linus losing his tail. And that is exactly what we’re heading for because remember, at the start of the episode, the Belcher kids were thinking of joining as a joke entry, but at the same time, they do need some mediation despite being the main characters, and mediation is automatically a skill for them to have. So, the procedure is set for Gene and Courtney to have a debate on who gets the rights of Linus, but not before Frond named Louise and Tina as co-moderators because they’re the only two he can spot with this whole mess. Courtney is against the idea because the hearing is pretty much a kangaroo court, because Tina and Louise are Gene’s sisters, and they’re going to be biased for their brother. And as much as they want Gene to be happy to keep Linus, which would automatically make Linus the family pet like they always wanted, despite wanting a dog, they’re on the fence and want to see where this tire fire goes.
Back to the subplot, and did I mention that Bob’s allergy is getting worse as Gayle continues with her stay? It’s getting worse. The medication does nothing to fix him up, as if the medication he picked up is from a generic dollar store, and we’re not talking about chains like Dollar Tree or Dollar General, I mean, the counterfeit kind that should be investigated by the feds. Bob is feeling like shit with what is going on to the point where he accidentally sneezed on Teddy’s burger, upsetting the guy before freaking eating it. Like, Jesus fucking Christ, Teddy, don’t eat the damn thing if someone like Bob would sneeze at it, even if it’s by accident, because the medication he took didn’t do Dickey McGee’s acts. So now, it looks like Bob is running out of options to deal with his severe allergic reaction and has no other choice but to accept Gayle’s offer to be her client. Don’t know how to cure an allergic reaction, but it’s better than getting a trip to the hospital to be treated and having to pay a pretty penny... well, neaty nickel now that the penny is pretty much rendered useless.
Checking back on the main plot, where the peer mediation program, the “Peer we-diation”, takes place in a random classroom to have the debate over who gets full custody rights to Linus, is about to take place. But does it have to be filmed in front of a camera? I mean, we’re talking about who gets full rights to take care of a lizard who just lost its tail following a mishap over the weekend, and Frond, even though he’s doing this just to get the superintendent’s approval, and we’re out here treating it as if this is coming out of an episode of Paternity Court. What the fuck are we doing? But yeah, it’s a back-and-forth debate for Gene and Courtney to make their case on who gets total custody of Linus.
Starting with Gene, who makes his case for why he deserves Linus, is because, despite earlier in the episode where he did admit he had some faults like slacking off by not doing what he is supposed to, pretty much paving way to the fact that the Belchers shouldn’t get a pet, and also using Courtney just to get to the lizard, because he is fishing for compliments because he saw one of his peers wearing a shark tooth necklace and wants to have a moment like that. You know, middle child problems. And the lizard was going to be his ticket to do just that, just because of one compliment on the scene of when Linus was found. Leaving Courtney to do all of the work and putting him in charge, in which Frond had to twist Gene’s words by saying that Courtney is a deadbeat mother, already turning this mediation into a tire fire, aside from what he is saying isn’t truly helping his case.
Especially once Courtney takes the stand and says her counterargument against Gene for why he shouldn’t have Linus put under his care. Not much of an argument and more of a line drawn in the sand statement that Linus will go live with her cousin. Putting her foot down to make herself clear for Gene to understand, after accusing him of being a deadbeat father to the lizard for not doing his part to tend to the reptile’s needs, to accidentally left the lid and door open for Gayle’s cats to attack the lizard like a walking cat toy. Already, the argument is favoring Courtney because we know that responsibility oftentimes isn’t in his vocabulary. And this is different from the likes of the talking mechanic toilet or a portable digital cat device, because it is a living being that you have to give it your all to make sure the creature doesn’t die. And again, we’re talking about the same person who accidentally gave a dog chocolate last Christmas. And while, yes, the worst didn’t happen after getting it out on time, that wasn’t Gene’s moment. But then again, what isn’t?
This is where Gene makes his counterargument, and the one that should probably have Courtney rethink her position on wanting to ship Linus off to her cousin out of town. Telling Courtney that he did his part while she was away on her weekend trip. It was a struggle at first, the first night of being tasked to watch the lizard, but he did pay attention. He did his job as much as he could. Especially after Linus lost his tail to Gayle's cats, and did his research to keep the lizard alive. Subverting her expectations from the moment both she and Gene were tasked to take care of the lizard instead of letting a professional do their job. And the look on Courtney’s face shows that she may have misjudged him when doing the job. And could be moments away from letting Linus go to Gene...
If it weren’t for Frond pulling out the receipts. The receipts are the recorded phone call that Gene made to the hotel where Courtney was staying, the moment after Linus got his tail cut off. A recorded message that Frond somehow wrote down and says, in Gene’s words, that he shouldn’t be capable of taking care of Linus. Accepting the fact that he is not responsible for what happened. Pretty much proving Courtney’s point that he is irresponsible and shouldn’t even be around the lizard, as if he would put the reptile in immediate danger, not just the recent incident with Gayle’s cats attempting to use Linus as a cat toy. And this might as well be the nail in the coffin because of what Gene said to the hotel as a message to Courtney, following what happened at the end of the first half of the episode that resulted in him losing his access to see Linus once Courtney made her return home. And as much as Gene wants to get out of dodge and say that he didn’t mean what he said, and it was caught in the heat of the moment, it looks like Gene may have lost the custody battle.
And his reaction shows it as we wrap up the third act of the episode, as Gene loses full custody of Linus. And for the lizard to go to Courtney’s cousin out of town. But Mr. Frond... what the actual fuck was that?! Like, no, seriously, what the fuck was that?! Because with the way that we saw with this peer mediation, that would’ve helped with the situation like a normal court case or some shit, but instead, decided to turn it into what we usually see in daytime TV with most court shows. Having to twist Courtney’s words, not allowing Tina and/or Louise to intervene in certain moments, especially during the attempted rebuttal following the message that Gene sent to Courtney about him being incompetent. All this just to hope that the school board is on track with this while being filmed on Candid Camera?! I’m sorry, but what the fuck was that?! The dude has purposely lost the plot with this shit.
You have a student who is now being forced to say goodbye to a lizard that, just now, is showing the care and support before and after the incident, and here you are going for the whole, “Oh, you know what this needs? A camera to film all of this because I need the school board to see this, just to get their approval with the idea I’m doing.” Oh my God, why is this even in the episode? I get it’s because it’s to settle an argument over custody rights, like a pair of parents going through a divorce procedure, but holy shit, dude. Holy fuck. When I said that Mr. Frond is a hack, as I often bring up in these reviews, I freaking mean it. He is a hack. A total hack. Totally lost the plot in this episode, just hoping to please the school board by turning the peer mediation into those daytime court shows. Did I mention that Mr. Frond is a hack? You bet your damn bippy I did.
Going into the fourth and final act of the episode, Gene visits Courtney once again in what might be the last time he’ll see Linus for a very long time, as he delivers the tail that was cut off earlier to her as a parting gift. You can tell that Gene has felt bad about all of this since the start of this. You also have Courtney feeling bad that she may have misjudged him for what happened since hearing what Gene had to hear at the peer mediation before Frond had to go and fuck it all up. So, Courtney let Gene into her house for him to check up on Linus one more time before saying goodbye for good.
Checking the episode's subplot, it’s Bob’s turn to undergo the Gayle experience as her client for her weird massage. Not on his back like some of y’all were hoping to see, as if that’s where the site of the allergic reaction is, though, wouldn’t rule out some hives popping up there, but instead, will be going towards his face where the hives are visible there and is getting worse by the moment as if he got a sudden severe case of eczema. Does the trick work the moment she lays her fingers on Bob’s face? Well, I’m not a doctor or a psychiatrist, but I’m pretty sure doctors would not recommend it head-on, and it will not apply it directly to the forehead. But it did Bob wonders as Gayle’s pinch attack of a massage did help him with his allergic reaction, where he didn’t feel the pressure building within his sinus. Not a similar way of if you remember Season 6’s “Sexy Dance Healing” with Jairo, when having to treat his fractured arm without having to rely on surgery and the cost that comes with it, because our health care system is a fucking joke, but it did help Bob at least feel a bit better in not having his sinus clogged up. So, there’s that. Once again, don’t ever try this at home. They should really add that as a disclaimer.
We have reached the two-minute warning of the episode, and it seems that Linus is making some progress in the healing side of things. The regenerative process is taking place as a stub is popping out from where the tail was, meaning that Linus should get a new tail any day now. And Courtney pretty much applauds Gene for the research he pulled off on how to take care of a lizard while she was away. Having to misjudge him after what happened earlier, the moment the reptile was picked up, when accusing him of not doing his part, and was using Courtney to get to Linus, so he could fish for compliments before having to truly care for the reptile. Especially after accidentally leaving both the lid of the tank and his bedroom door open, which led to Gayle’s cats going on the offensive.
As for what Courtney is about to say back there before being interrupted by Frond and having to fuck everything up, after having to hear what Gene said, it almost seems to be clear that Courtney would backtrack her decision to have Linus shipped to be with her cousin and instead, plans on giving the reptile to Gene... only for Gene to backtrack on it because he saw the color on Linus’s head. You know they’ll never get a pet, right? You know that the Belchers will never get a pet in their lifetime. And it seems Linus seems to be the closest that the Belchers will have to a family pet, but once again, they are never going to get a pet in their lifetime. And should at least face the facts by now. And this isn’t me being an asshole or anything, I’m just stating facts by the show itself for status quo reasons.
But instead, Gene and Courtney decide to let Linus go out in the wild. And for good reasons. The color of the head for Linus is orange. And according to Gene, after doing some research, signals that the lizard is ready to mate. So, it would be reasonable for the two, in the final scene of the episode, to let the lizard go so he can go and find some poon-poon, apologies for the language, in GTA, as it is in nature to find a mate. Putting an end to this episode with Gene and Courtney letting Linus go back to the wild in what is pretty much the show’s equivalent of the baby clam situation straight out of SpongeBob. So, the moral of this story: don’t be a deadbeat parent. The world has enough of that. Especially when having to take care of an animal.
Reaction/Thoughts:
So, all and all, what do I think about this week’s episode of Bob’s Burgers? Well, this was an average episode at best. But like I said time and time again, Gene episodes are the episodes that I’m the least excited about. And this episode fits that bill. The main plot shows it with the lizard, with Gene originally wanting to use the lizard as a ticket for him to be noticed after spotting one of his peers getting some attention for wearing a shark tooth necklace. That was before having a change of thought after having the lizard’s tail cut off. Yes, it was predictable that Gene was going to mess up. Yes, it was predictable that Gene was going to do something. So, the main plot... didn’t do any wonders other than another Gene episode that doesn’t really excite me.
The subplot was, I guess, okay. Decent at best, with Gayle having to run her own business while having to reside with the Belchers for a few days. Letting Bob suffer when being around her cats before has that patched up by Gayle at the end of the episode. And also, the peer mediation sideplot... why? Just why? Frond pretty much lost the freaking plot with that, and truly didn’t help with the whole situation over who gets custody rights for the lizard with Gene and Courtney. Good God, that was bad, and Frond was pretty much insufferable with that. So, I’ll give “Les Lizárdables’’...
A 5 out of 10. But that’s my opinion, and I want to hear yours in the comments below. Tune in on Sunday for this year’s Christmas episode, where stunts are involved when attending a Christmas village... and a plague of locusts about to invade because we have Logan in the upcoming episode and the Louigan shippers are likely going to eat this one up... God help us all, in the ninth episode of Season 16 in “It’s a Stunterful Life”.
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