We’re in the forties now when counting down to the upcoming Bob’s Burgers Movie. And man, last week, the start of last week I might say, things have really cranked up when it comes to content following the WonderCon panel from the info to the clip that I kinda wish someone should share but all we got are clues, and also the trailer the morning after that I had to work my ass off. You could check that out on the site and give it a read to my breakdown and thoughts. Also by the time this episode review will be dropped, I would be entering a new age because this will be posted either the night or the day after my birthday. So yeah. Just had to put it out there. No new episode on April 17, but we’ll be back on April 24.
In this week’s episode of Bob’s Burgers, Louise befriends a random spider and decides to keep it to herself in secrecy despite Bob and Linda wanting the animal out and speaking of the adults, it looks like it’s another misadventure of Bob being an anti-social fuck when trying to be friendly towards people who are outside of the restaurant. Will the cracks on the sidewalk be noticed? We’ll see in my spoilerific review of the seventeenth episode of Season 12 of Bob’s Burgers, titled “The Spider House Rules”.
And by noticed regarding the sidewalk...well the closest is that random guy walking by as Louise plans on getting rid of the spider the first time. We’ll get on that later. But to put it out there with this episode, it’s pretty much your standard bubble episode. And if you don’t know what “bubble episode” is all about? It’s pretty much the idea of having an episode based on one setting like a house, school, office building, etc. That sums up this episode to a tee with “The Spider House Rules” with the Belchers sticking around the building without going out. And with a spider being the center of attention with Louise taking the spotlight.
Of course with the bubble episodes, though not all bubble episodes are the same, you would have at least one plot for the episode. This one has two though they pretty much parallel with each other as if you’re driving on a highway and when visit a town is where you see an intersection of a highway, whether be an alternate route or a business route, and it seems that whenever you drive on the main route or the other is where you noticed that it’s paralleling the main road all the way till you reach the exit of the city. That is pretty much what we’re at with this episode with the main plot with Louise taking charge with you have some moments where you get the subplot with Bob, being the anti-social fuck that he is because that is pretty much what the script said, when noticing that he's pretty much one friend short when it comes to his social circle. So let’s create a spider web, capture some stuff, and analyze each cocoon...please don’t quote me on this for saying the wrong things, this is “The Spider House Rules”.
So the episode starts off with the Belcher and Pesto kids on their way to their home, well, the Belchers are heading home. The Pesto kids, primarily Jimmy Jr, Andy, and Ollie make their way to their dad’s restaurant which is currently vacant because we don’t like to talk about he who shall not be named. They’re all making their way to their destination after boarding the bus it seems that Louise and the Pesto Twins had gone through a little game of jumping off the bus with Louise being the winner and Andy getting a little boo-boo on the knee. Pretty much telling everyone that jumping off the bus is considered a bad idea because that would be the result of it. Though Tina seems a bit surprised that Andy was the only twin to have his knee scraped but Ollie didn’t get the same because knowing the Pesto Twins, they share things. So Ollie not getting a scratch on his knee, coming from Tina, seems rather surprising. Though again, knowing the Pesto Twins, they share things and Ollie has to feel the same pain as Andy by hitting his leg to feel the same pain. Though I’m sure that’s not how that works and being hit by a rock on the leg could possibly lead to a dislocated joint.
The conversation gets interrupted once Louise spotted a mirror that is ready to be thrown away into the trash. Rather, a mirror with a piece of paper attached to it that said “free” written on it and hoping that the item gets picked up. Louise wants to go through the risk phase and wants to smash the item into pieces. Having various shards of glass scattered on the ground. But the others have to disagree with wanting Louise to break the mirror. Andy and Ollie, after being hurt earlier in the episode from jumping off the bus, are ready to call it quits and decide to call it an episode for them. And of course, the superstition of breaking the mirror would result in seven years of bad luck. And if you’re superstitious, you really don’t want to do that and deal with almost a decade’s worth of bad luck. And as for why Louise even wants to do dangerous stunts as if she’s planning on filming an audition for the next Jackass film because she wants to. Seems vague but then again, the Belchers doing dangerous stuff that almost killed them isn’t new.
The scene changes to the kids arriving back at the restaurant with Louise still wanting to live the dangerous life like wanting to take a sip of beer with Bob not allowing her to do that and telling the customer that she’s joking. It’s a joke. It’s a joke. Though Linda might be on the money when questioning Louise’s little “phase” of wanting to live the danger life. As if she’s trying to avoid something that happened back in school or somewhere that she doesn’t want to talk about it. I mean, that would’ve been the better concept of her dealing with something that she doesn’t like to talk about it as if she has gotten into trouble. But nope, we didn’t get that, and instead, it’s just Louise just going through a possible phase of wanting to do dangerous stunts. Stunts that Tina and Gene don’t want to be a part of but ended up being dragged into whatever Louise does and just stand there in case she gets seriously injured. Whether being throwing a boulder down the bridge and breaking the log in half, trying to bat an empty can with Gene as those practice items where you want to learn to swing the bat, trying to play cowgirl by using the plug as a rope or breaking bottles in various locations. Jesus, that’s a long list from a montage of flashbacks. No wonder she got her dangerous and mischievous side from Linda.
The conversation decides to change from Louise being restricted from doing dangerous stuff to Bob talking about the lack of friends that he has. Other than Linda, his wife, and Teddy, his best customer, this is pretty much another episode of Bob being an anti-social fuck because that’s what the script said and he has to follow it. I mean, you do have Warren Fitzgerald back in Season 6 who once paid a visit to the restaurant and of course, he mentioned Walter Russo in Season 5. But other than that...yeah, outside of the restaurant who isn’t a paying customer is pretty much as empty as a hydroelectric pump in a middle of a drought. But no mentions of Mort? Wow. The Mort slander in this episode. I get that he too is a paying customer much like Teddy...but wow. The slander. The freaking slander on this show.
We transition to the night with Louise being upset over something simple as breaking a mirror. I mean come on Louise, there is more stuff you should be mad about other than just breaking something as simple as a mirror you found earlier in the day. She gets upset over not being able to break the mirror into pieces but her anger gets interrupted when she spotted a spider chilling on the pillar of Louise’s loft bed and we’re pretty much locked and loaded on what to expect for the main plot of the episode.
And of course, we got a snippet of Bob and Linda as they’re about to go to bed with Bob struggling to find a friend who isn’t his customer as he searches through the contacts list as if some haven’t gone to bed while stalking on their friends’ social feed where comes across with someone named Cliff, who Bob brought up that they met once at a back-to-school night but never really clicked since then. But it looks we might’ve set up the subplot, rather the side story even though they’re the same thing but this one intertwines with the main plot of the episode, with Bob hoping to not be the anti-social fuck that he is by accidentally sending a text message to Cliff. Spoiler alert, we did NOT see Cliff nor does Bob meet up with the guy once the episode is over. There. There’s your side plot for the episode.
A new day arrives for the Belchers as Louise wakes up and climbs down to the ground from her loft bed and notices that the spider made itself a web overnight and already becoming a freeloader but that won’t stop Louise from proclaiming the spider to be her roommate, rather, a pet to be exact. I mean, she’s been trying to tell the family to have a pet in the house after numerous times, though that’s mostly because they wanted a dog. Besides, the fish that she had from Season 6 on Christmas, even though the show is pretty much in an endless loop as if we’re in the movie Groundhog Day, off-screen since then, went AWOL. In short, that fish is pretty much dead. So why do you even want a pet if you didn’t even bother taking care of a fish? I don’t make the damn rules, but it’s the responsibility of being a freaking pet owner. But that’s not going to stop Louise from keeping the spider all to herself. Well...that was until Linda spotted the wild creature just as she was preparing to do laundry and have Louise, in hopes to prevent the family to kill it, get rid of it by sending it outside where it belongs.
But not before getting a quick scene of Bob getting a text from his newfound friend Cliff just as Linda is prepping up the laundry machine to clean the kids’ clothes and it looks like Bob might be ready to go for his potential meeting with the guy. Also, him getting used to texting to the point where he, later in the episode, ends up joining a chat group. And also, noticing that we’ve been over at the small closet where the laundry machine is at, you’d think that this small room would possibly have a huge role once we get to later in the episode over the spider running amok around the house? Nope. Didn’t get that either. Didn’t even get that either. Which would’ve put up with one of the two predictions of what to do with the spider on either being let go or dies by the end of the episode. But we didn’t get that. And if we would’ve had that in the episode, this would’ve been the first death on the show since...well, Teddy’s gerbil Francis. Yeah, and the only way to get a human death on the show is if whether we’re in a flashback or backstory or off-screen. Yeah, so we had to follow One Piece rules when it comes to character deaths. I see you, movie. I see you the more we get closer to finding out about Bob’s mom.
We transition to outside at the front of the restaurant and man, oh man, the condition of the sidewalk is getting worse by the minute as each episode passes. And with only five episodes left in the season before the release of the upcoming movie. With the release of the second and final trailer, a lot of speculations are about to come down from the heavens on what caused the incoming sinkhole that will be plaguing the Belchers’ chances of staying open for the summer. More on that...if I get the chance to come up with any speculations of my own. We’ll see about that. But for now, Louise plans on getting rid of the spider, Arachnaphoebe, or Phoebe for short, I’ll stick to Phoebe which is what Louise would stick around to use throughout the episode, and sending the spider out is unable to do so at the front. So she sticks to the back near the dumpster and she couldn’t let the being go and decides to keep the spider as her hidden pet and hoping for a miracle that no one ever finds out about the spider. All because Louise feels sorry for the animal. And also the spider grows some affection towards Louise that causes her to be pressured into bringing the being back into the household.
Which leads us to the next scene where Louise keeps Phoebe the Spider inside a shoebox with some twigs to be put into the box as if she’s in the forest. Though noticing the lack of air holes drilled into the box. As she plans on getting food for the spider to feed. But knowing that it’s the first time she’s taking care of the animal, she has to go to the internet and search up what spiders eat. And knowing spiders, it’s whatever creature dares to fly across the web and is unable to get out. Knowing the animal kingdom, it’s pretty much the notion of the predator and the prey regarding the spider. Treating the spider web as a mousetrap with a piece of cheese attached and driving the creature towards it and then...boom. Captured. And the item that Louise needed for the spider once we transition to the next scene is of course...flies. Yep. Flies. That’s one of the animals that the spider eats and that are animals that are too slow to get out of dodge.
And while Louise gets the flies from the alleyway, we get back to the side story with Bob continuing to text with Cliff and burning his data rates to the ground with the constant nonstop texting. Don’t know what their data plans are for the Belchers with their cheapo flip phones but I bet it would be a nightmare once the billing cycle ends. Though it looks like whenever Bob tries to get a new friend outside of the restaurant, you have Teddy to feel like he’s being threatened. And this isn’t the first time that happened because if you look at “The Cook, The Steve, The Gayle, and Her Lover” when Bob made a new friend and invited him for dinner at his house, the same night Gayle introduced Frond to the family as her boyfriend at the time, and Teddy become jealous over the idea of Bob being buddy-buddy with someone who is not him as if he’s about to get a new best friend. Well, here we are again. Teddy feels threatened that because he’s texting Cliff and then automatically enters a group chat with the other dads, that he could possibly get replaced. Just because Bob just wanted to be friends with someone who isn’t a customer doesn’t mean that he could possibly forget Teddy. It’s like you’re a kid, a single kid, or an eldest or middle kid of the family and you find out that your parent is expecting another child and you’re fearing that the attention might be pointing at the new kid. That almost sounds like Teddy when fearing that he could possibly get replaced.
We switch over to the alleyway and it looks like Louise is caught red-handed with Tina and Gene stepping in and see what she’s doing when carrying Tupperware and trying to catch some wild flies. So yeah, Tina and Gene now know that Louise kept the spider and introduces it to her eldest siblings with a shoebox over in her room with Louise getting the tube back from Tina, who was carrying it after catching the flies, and the three siblings decide to watch nature in front of their eyes of what spiders usually do when they eat lunch. Have the prey be trapped on the web, the spider turns the prey into a cocoon, and then eats it like there’s no tomorrow. Yeah...I would gag too if I were to get a front-row seat to see the action in person.
Switching over to dinner at the Belcher household and man, Bob is already burning his data rates to the ground with the constant texting. I mean seriously, he’s trying to have a nice dinner with the family but ol’ Cliff here keeps on texting Bob as if it’s his late-night booty call. Or rather talking to someone you just accepted their friend request and never shuts up the moment you started chatting and want to go to sleep. That is Bob when trying to enjoy some time either be with his family or trying to work but Cliff and his friend group on the textboard refuse to go offline on a Discord chat. But it looks like Teddy also wants to step in by texting him and sends pretty much his way of saying “up yours” by telling Bob that he won’t be coming to the restaurant the next day and making a lot of sandwiches for himself. Seriously, a bit melodramatic don’t you think? Just because Bob just wants to have one friend, just one, outside of the restaurant who isn’t a paying customer doesn’t mean that you’ll get the third wheel treatment. And it looks like Bob gets invited for an in-person meet-up. Wow, just barely know the guy, and boom, you get to meet the guy in person even though y’all don’t meet eye-to-eye a lot since the back-to-school night event.
Linda calls up everyone just as dinner is wrapping up that the sheets and covers for the bed are all set and ready to be used for their respective rooms and alerts Louise that she’ll be going first because of her newly-built loft bed. And much like with bunk beds, it can be a hassle at times when setting up the covers when being surrounded by barriers surrounding the area. And that you have to pull the mattress out of the bed and into the floor to put the sheets over the item and put it back onto the bed. Mostly because you need at least two or more people to get the mattress out. Though with Linda stated that Louise’s room will be going first to get the sheets to be put up, that rang some alarm bells for her because it would result in Phoebe being discovered. Causing Louise to create a get out of dodge card by telling her mother that she’ll put on the covers herself. An idea where the next scene comes into play when she gets into trouble of setting up the sheets herself without moving the mattress. Again, a hassle to deal with for someone who used to have a bed that is normal. Then again, we’re talking about someone who sleeps in what is pretty much a walk-in storage closet. But that’s enough for Louise to keep Phoebe a secret and hope Bob or Linda ever finds out about it...or so we thought because Louise forgot to close the damn box and lo and behold...
The spider escapes. Yep, Phoebe escapes the shoebox just as Louise was out eating dinner at the table. Really should’ve closed the box there, even though the spider might need some air when being trapped inside the box. Do you know what would’ve been better than opening the box? Airholes! But yeah, the spider escapes right under Louise’s nose and now the kids are in full-on panic mode that the spider might be somewhere around the house and the chances of Bob and/or Linda finding out about the animal would not be good news for Louise. So that’s where she has to take matters into her own hands by searching for the animal by herself for a bit in the living room despite that Bob and Linda are also there on the couch and discussing about him wanting to head out to meet with Cliff and his friends but has some issue regarding appearance. Though Louise might not be doing a good job when it comes to trying to avoid exposure. Mostly because...well, the ears. It could get her into trouble. Almost did it one time in “Adventures in Chinchilla-sitting” if it weren’t for Tina when Teddy drives by the street to avoid getting into trouble. Not so much in “Large Brother, Where Fart Thou” when she and Gene ran off to the warehouse and tried to avoid being seen by Logan. Man, all the mentions about the ears in this review just now and knowing that we’re less than five episodes left in the season until the release of the movie. And Bouchard did mention from the panel that Louise’s ears and how she got them and why she never takes it off all gonna be revealed come May 27...y’all want me to give my take on Louise’s ears huh? Sigh. But no luck for Louise because she doesn’t want to get caught.
Just leave it to Tina and Gene to distract Linda and Bob with Gene telling him about his ingrown toenail before getting another text, lay off the damn phone just this once Bob, and change the subject in hopes to give Louise some more time in search for Phoebe and that subject being Bob’s trouble with his appearance and wanting to impress his texting buddies. And of course, Tina, she wants to know about how Linda's day went. Linda’s farts where she farted when she sneezed while taking a customer’s order. Again, giving Louise more time to search for Phoebe as she has no luck in finding the spider in the living room and makes her way to the bedroom, and finally spots the missing spider on the headboard of her parents’ bed after being on the verge of throwing in the towel and just as she was about to get Phoebe...
Bob enters the room and sees what Louise is doing. Sees the spider on the bed and now drags the whole family along to see the situation at hand. Linda questions Louise on why she didn’t take Phoebe out as she was told yesterday. Which Louise stated that it was not safe for the spider to head out. But that’s not going to stop the family to get the spider, much to Louise’s dismay. But Louise wants to get the spider out on her own despite the fact that the spider crawled deep inside the headboard of the bed and unless you want the spider to come out in the middle of the night and crawl inside your mouth or nose or ear. The last thing they need is a recreate...you know those videos you don’t usually see on the internet where doctors have to take something out of someone’s ear and that thing turns out to be a live bug? Yeah, you should probably wash your eyes when imagining what I said about the concern of Phoebe crawling through someone’s face.
Of course, we have the “Louise learn a life lesson” moral of the week. Getting as stale as bread being left in the open. See, now my metaphors and analogies are getting stale than the show following the same ol’ formula. And this ties in with what happened earlier in the episode with Louise wanting to do dangerous stunts like breaking the mirror that she found or breaking bottles in the streets. Saying that keeping the spider like Phoebe is dangerous because...she’s a spider, just be thankful that the spider wasn’t pregnant when Louise picked her up because otherwise...it would not paint a pretty picture. Although Louise thinks that Phoebe the Spider was just living her best life is pretty much a twist of words regarding the person in the spotlight. Thinking that it’s Phoebe but instead, it’s Louise because again, it feels like she’s being restricted from doing dangerous stunts that could potentially either get her injured or a trip to the police station. Oh, we’ll see some stuff that is considered dangerous once the movie arrives.
But for now, Louise thinks that she’s being restricted from doing what she wants but Bob and Linda, along with Tina and Gene, don’t think of that and wants what is best for the youngest Belcher. I know it’s cheesy and stale and getting really tired of this shtick but it’s more than enough to cause Louise to stand down and also for the family to dismantle the bed and get the spider out of the bed. Oh yeah and also Bob missed his meeting with Cliff and his friends. So that's pretty much the end of this little side story. Though it’s not really the end because he has to reconcile with a certain somebody and we’ll get to that. As for what to do with Phoebe? Because it didn’t die at the end of the episode, it looks like the spider will be ready to be released because it looks like Phoebe doesn’t seem to be enjoying being inside the box. Hence, why the spider escapes under Louise’s nose while eating dinner. And Louise did mention that the outside world is considered a dangerous place for the spider. She was planning on releasing it to the front but would get stepped on by random bystanders. That and of course the cracks on the sidewalk and could lead the spider deep-diving into the underground. So where is the next location that Bob has in mind?
In the basement by placing Phoebe under the stairs to call that area her home. Hopefully, if the restaurant gets hit by a health inspection, hiding Phoebe is going to be a hassle. Especially if it’s during a school day and Bob has to think of something to hide the spider. But for the time being, the corner of the basement under the staircase will be considered to be Phoebe’s new home. Again, this is pretty much the closest the Belchers would get as a pet courtesy of Louise. But it looks like we’re not done yet with the episode.
Because we close out the episode with Bob getting a text message from Teddy about the sandwiches and it looks like this little off-screen experiment didn’t turn out well as we switched scenes from Bob in the basement to Teddy on his bed at his apartment and it’s quite a surprise to see Teddy without his hat on. Sporting his bald head. I think that the last time we ever saw Teddy without his hat on, that is NOT with him having a full set of hair, I believe that was “Bed and Breakfast” from Season 1 with the beetles attaching themselves onto his face by Louise. Talk about a rare occurrence coming from the guy. So Teddy text messaged Bob about how he behaved over what happened with him text messaging Cliff and is ready to head back to the restaurant for the next day. Thought that Bob might not respond to him after sending that text but luckily for Teddy to close out the episode, he got the text. He got his buddy back...in his perspective. Closing out the episode with him getting a smile after getting a text back from Bob...while suffering through a chopped finger when making sandwiches for himself. It’s mostly coming from cutting the produce like the lettuce or tomato but hey, Teddy’s bald head. People are not going to shut up about it for the next two weeks.
Reaction/Thoughts:
So all and all, what do I think about this week’s episode of Bob’s Burgers? Well...if I got to be honest here. This episode has pretty much gone either way. It’s somewhere in the middle with Louise keeping the spider all to herself just because she’s being restricted from living her life. It’s not a bad episode but I wouldn’t call it great. The rewatch factor is there, so I guess you may have to give it a few more times watching the episode to wrap around your head to collect some thoughts on the episode.
I guess I might have to pinpoint some of the positives in this episode. Someone noticing the sidewalk while taking a stroll was pretty much another reminder of what to expect for the movie, especially with the trailer that came out just last week. I guess the kids watching nature taking its course with Phoebe gnawing on the fly in the shoebox was something and can relate to seeing what is aspiring with them getting a front-row seat to how nature works. But that’s all I can think of...oh, and Louise wanted a beer as a joke. Other than that, that’s pretty much the positives that I can think of with this episode.
The rest, if I have to be honest, is here and there when it comes to...well, execution and direction. The subplot with Bob doesn’t feel like a subplot at all and instead, it feels like we only have one plot with a side story intervening it. As I said in the introduction, think of it as if you’re driving on the main road and you see either an alternate or business road that intertwines with the main road when you enter a city. The whole “Louise learns a life lesson” routine was seen from a mile away the moment we start off with the second act once Louise keeps Phoebe hidden from the family. Of course, you knew that the moment that Bob finds someone who isn’t a paying customer is when Teddy gets jealous and tries to send a message to the guy. The ending of the episode pretty much tells you that the experiment didn’t go too well for the Ted-ster. But just be thankful if you’re Teddy that you’re not being replaced in your POV. His POV to be exact.
So final thoughts, this was an average episode but it feels a bit dull. Again, it’s not a bad episode but I wouldn’t say that it’s a good one either. It’s somewhere in the middle if I got to be honest. The rewatch factor is there if you ever come across with the episode. So I’ll give “The Spider House Rules”...
A 5 out of 10. A generous 5 out of 10 if I have to give this episode. But that’s pretty much my opinion and now I wanna hear yours in the comments below. Do you like it? Do you hate it? All that and your mini-review down in the comment section below. Just a reminder that there’s no new episode on April 17 because of the Easter holiday. But we return on April 24 in what might be the ultimate payoff with a certain someone being teased for the past eleven seasons might be ready for her debut. We’re talking about Linda’s friend Ginger. She might finally appear in the episode in the eighteenth episode of Season 12 in “Clear and Present Ginger”.
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