When it comes to doing Bob’s Burgers and talking about the show for the past seven years, while doing the character discussions regarding the Wagstaff students can be somewhat of a hassle, mostly due to how much I can recap each episode those characters appear that could also be somewhat of a time hassle, but at least I got something to do to pass the time before the new season starts in late September. So there’s that. But it means that this is pretty much me giving some light onto the characters that usually don’t get any attention or affection whatsoever from the fans. Alex, Darryl, Susmita, Kaylee, Courtney, Arnold, those six characters that I’ve talked about in the past pieces are the prime examples. And it looks like this piece is one of them regarding a character that you have hardly seen on the show, despite appearing with some speaking roles but is just there to serve as a cardboard box. That cardboard box has a name, and his name is Henry Haber.
Henry's Personality
So when it comes to Henry Haber as a character, what is the one thing to describe the guy whenever he appears on the show? I know that everyone is going to point out that he bears a strong resemblance to Hank Hill from King of the Hill. Funny because Jim Dauterive, who used to work on the show, also did King of the Hill. Which could also explain Rudy’s design looking similar to Bobby Hill, Hank’s son, from the same show. While some note that he almost looks like the Angry Video Game Nerd if you look at the comparisons and think that’s how and why Henry got that design. But appearances aside, he’s pretty much the walking stereotype of what a dork looks like, much a grin to Darryl’s appearance looking like a stereotypical nerd. Though whenever I see Henry Haber on screen, to me...he’s pretty much a cardboard box. Rather a cardboard cutout. A perception filter no less. Why would I say that about him?
Because each time he appeared on the show, most people don’t even hardly recognize him being there. Much a grin to “The Millie-churian Candidate” back in Season 5 as a joke of them playing with the idea of him not being there. Though that was mostly because earlier in that episode, it was a two-man race between him, and Jimmy Jr before Millie jumped into the race, and Louise sabotaging the campaign and later threw her hat into the campaign trail. Thus, you have the scene with the debate with Millie continuing to gaining ground by announcing her buddy system and Louise calling her out over being a psychopath. And then there’s Henry...
Just being there after Millie and Louise argue at the debate stage. Almost reminded you of the 2016 election in the Democratic primaries where you have the two top dogs, being Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders, going at it with each other. And there’s that one other guy...I forgot who his name was because he’s pretty much a forgettable bastard. That’s pretty much Henry in that episode...and sadly in his tenure on the show because again, he’s pretty much a forgettable bastard. Like you didn’t even notice he’s even there. Which is kind of a shame for like...5, 10 of his fans, in which you’re now surprised that he even has fans.
Though let’s not the idea of him being a forgettable fuck fool you because while he can be slipped out from the radar to some viewers who watch the show, he is in the intelligent bubble in the world of Wagstaff because it looks like the past few characters who I talked about, mostly Darryl, Susmita, and Arnold, are in the same freaking fracking room when it comes to being the smartest in the school. Sure, a dork for starters since he dressed up as one. Not to mention that he has a thing for creating graphic novels, much a grin to Tina writing stories, and also talking about dinosaurs like he’s a pro. Also not to mention that he’s a part of the debate club, which would’ve come in handy in his debate for the presidential race if it weren’t for Millie to enter the race and gaining ground.
Not to mention that he has some issues to point out when it comes to his appearance in the form of his body. And this is pretty much taking things out from “Ain’t Miss Debatin” like him having contagious acne, which uh...ouch. Apparently, those commercials you see about dealing with pimples and breakouts with the ointment are pretty much no match against Henry’s little condition. Which I think that maybe why Henry had to give Jacobson a doctor’s note in “UFO No You Didn’t” where he was about to be paired up with someone, which if you think about it...Tina is up next after Henry, meaning that Henry would originally be paired up with Susmita if it weren’t for him pulling out that note from his folder. Well...either her or Tina, so uh...think about it. Also, when it comes to dates, again, looking back at “Ain’t Miss Debatin’” when both he and Tina go out following her debate performance, he even pulled out his info and even said to her that if an event that if he doesn’t show up to their date, he’s pretty much dead. His words, not mine. Which uh...question...yeah, Susmita...how and what the fuck do you see in that guy?
But don’t let the idea of him being forgettable and dorky fool you, because while those characteristics are there that sum up Henry, the dude can pretty much be a massive manipulator. Like to pull the strings and fucking around with people like it’s a game of chess. Remember what I’d say regarding “The Millie-churian Candidate” where Henry was forgettable in the race once Millie entered the race? Yeah, he pulled some massive strings to make sure he’s the last one standing by having his opponents cannibalizing each other and just sitting idly in the shadows and not make any campaigning, despite his poll numbers tanking into the 5% range. Knowing that he has no shot in winning against Jimmy Jr, he saw Millie looking over Louise and telling her about the winner of the race gets complete power, though not in the way of the principal, but treating it like if she wins, she gets total control of the school, especially Louise. Causing her to run and have Louise help Jimmy Jr out in his campaign, only to downright tank and causes Jimmy Jr to drop out as Millie gains steam. Causing Louise to enter the race, but shows that she has no shot of winning. Which resulted in her getting a note and get a file out from Frond’s office, causing Louise to land a strike to ruin Millie’s potential career involving finding a loophole in her campaign proposal and costing her the race and Louise getting disqualified for breaking into Frond’s office. Leaving Henry the last man standing. And this isn’t the only time he does that.
He did it again in “Fast Time Capsules at Wagstaff School” where the tickets he got for Susmita became the target of choice for Louise trying to get but failed. His relationship hitting a bump in the road over him correcting Susmita’s homework and almost feels like they’re about to head over to Splitsville and thinking of donating the tickets into Tina’s capsule and Louise sensing an opportunity to snatch it, only for Tammy to do the job for them and putting it in her capsule...only for her and Jocelyn spotting the Belcher kids to replace the tickets with fake ones and handing it over to them, only to reveal that those two took the fake ones and the Belcher sisters got the real ones...only to find out that they also got the fake tickets and the folks who got the real tickets...wouldn’t you know it?
It’s Henry. With the help from Susmita, who patched up their relationship thanks to him quoting Titanic and telling her that the tickets that he got is the object of target and agree to fuck around with anyone who lays their eyes on, mostly Tina and Louise (who later fucked around with Tammy and Jocelyn), in placing the fake tickets into the capsules. Congratulations Tina, Louise, Jimmy Jr, Millie, Tammy, and Jocelyn, you all got owned by someone who is pretty much the equivalent of a fucking bologna sandwich. It’s like the saying goes, “these motherfuckers are playing checkers, while he is out there playing chess.”
Also noting that he also pulled a prank on both Tina and Susmita as an attempt of him warning the two girls when doing their science fair projects that contacting aliens is considered a no-no. And knowing that aliens may now exist coming from the US government, which...I mean, c’mon, there is no way that we’re alone in the universe. But coming from Henry, you could say that it was mostly because of paranoia and the last thing he needs coming from Tina and Susmita is a War of the Worlds situation. Not saying he’s some sort of troll per se, just don’t count the guy out whenever he appears.
Henry's Relationships and History
So we get into the relationship portion of the discussion piece and well...despite that he’s one of the characters that he appears the most, though again, being a forgettable fuck and such, not a lot to talk about, rather the number of people who he interacted the most throughout the series since his debut back in Season 3. I mean, you could possibly throw in some people who he interacted the least like with Louise in “The Millie-churian Candidate”, but that was mostly because they’re in the race and also for Louise to find out that he has pulled the strings to make sure that he becomes the last person standing in the race. Or...I dunno...any of his eighth-grade peers. But we might as well get to talk about who Henry talked to the most. And wouldn’t you guess it?
It’s Tina Belcher as we start off with “Carpe Museum” where the two got paired up on their way to the museum for a class trip. Much a grin to how we were introduced to Susmita later on in the series when Tina gets paired up with her for the science fair project. You may sense a pattern here. Of course, it didn’t take that long for them to realize that it’s going to be a very long trip and day ahead when realizing that their partners are nothing more than dorks. Hence, him picking his ear in his first scene of the show in the episode. As well as it’s pictured above, him drawing some robots for his graphic novel, which he answered Tina over his progress. And also giving Tina some ideas for her next erotic friend fiction...that is now a thing of the past because the kiddos that watch the show now thanks to parents pretty much shot that dead.
But it didn’t take that long once they reached the prehistoric exhibit where things get a little...I guess dicey between the two. Starting with Tina telling Henry about Jimmy Jr, in which he thinks that he and Jimmy are close...despite that he mistakenly called him “Harvey”. But that’s pretty much a pebble. The boulder of the issue is when they looked over at the Land Before Time portion of the exhibit where Tina tries to not let Henry to bring out his bookworm knowledge about the stegosaurus, resulting in a bystander walking by and calling either one a “dork”, causing both Tina and Henry to argue over who’s the dorkiest kid in the whole school and ready to take matters into their own hands and interview everyone to see who’s dorkier.
And they did by asking each group to hear who is more dorky in the whole school, Tina or Henry? Sadly, the answer is pretty much tied from every group around the museum that it is really making things are to see who is the dorkiest kid in the school a bit harder than it looks. To the point where they come across with the tour guide for the museum and telling her about the notion, but refuses to answer because calling someone a “dork” is considered hurtful. Which pretty sure in today’s climate, that might not be rather offensive to some. They can think of the worse ways possible.
But later on in the episode, they decided to call it a truce, a draw, a tie in the whole contest to see who is dorkier and saw the writing on the wall that they’re equally matched with the school calling them what is it. Causing them to accept their status by yelling out who or what they’re dorky over, thus ending one side of the aisle regarding Henry’s relationship with Tina. You know that some people used to ship these two, right? They did. They mostly did. Like...around 2%, 3% of the fanbase pair Tina and Henry up to be a couple, mostly over the episode and them being dorky and such. Which...okay. That’s...I guess fine. Say less...if this was before 2018 into 2019, pre-Season 9. Or rather pre-Season 7 in 2017. Remember what I said about a tiny, tiny, tiny, possibly microscopic slide of the fandom that want Tina and Henry to be together? Yeah, this is where “Ain’t Miss Debatin’” takes its place on that little notion.
And that comes as Henry, along with Todd, come across the Belcher kids’ table over at the cafeteria and invite Tina to join the school’s debate club. Mostly because the debate club is pretty much a downright sausage fest because they have one female member in the group and their other female member went on to defect to focus on the spelling bee. Although Tina did misread the invitation from Henry and thinks that he is hitting on her and was about to decline the offer...only to see Jimmy Jr trying to impress a random girl by trying to kiss his elbow, causing Tina to become the newest member of the debate club. Because that is pretty much what drove Tina into a club where it’s pretty much a boys’ club, and not an exciting one where you could be dropped dead in a matter of seconds like it’s Sunday mass over at church after waking up at 6:00, and all it took is Jimmy Jr being some sort of womanizer and her not seeing the writing on the wall. I now await the death threats from the Tina/Jimmy Jr shippers in my DMs and comments.
But it didn’t take long for Tina to become a pro in debating that make the Wagstaff team a potential threat to other schools when competing. Though at first, Tina’s attempt at the whole thing was sort of sloppy since she just got in and had to have Henry’s help to because a master at debating, and all it took is something that peeved her off to enter debate mode and slamming people into the ground. Of course, she had to think back to Jimmy Jr trying to impress Tamica, the one-off character who watched Jimmy Jr trying to kiss his elbow. And boom, Tina cranks the level of expertise up to 11 and owning everyone from different schools around the general area like playing dolls. So good that...
Even Henry Haber ends up falling for her and later both he and she become boyfriend and girlfriend. Henry being impressed over Tina’s performance after helping her out on how to become a better debater almost feels like with what happened a few seasons ago with Tina being impressed over Darryl’s performance when they pretended to go out and her helping the guy out in being a better boyfriend. Things were kinda hitting off between Henry and Tina, of course, their romantic relationship did not get in the way of them and the rest of the debate club killing it in their performance to the point where they reached the finals of the whole competition. Guess you could say that they’re the Bonnie and Clyde of school debates...minus the whole thing where in real life, Bonnie and Clyde were gunned down by law enforcement. But regardless of that, they’re pretty much unstoppable despite that they’re a couple...though...uh...even though they did went out that one night almost feels like they have shown no romantic gestures from either one, mostly on Tina, who agrees on the offer to become Henry Haber’s girlfriend. But regardless of that, they’re unstoppable and nothing can put a dent into the whole dynamic and ruin their chances of getting a trophy for the school.
Too bad Kingshead Island may have other plans for the two, especially coming from Sasha in a way to make sure that Wagstaff doesn’t take home the trophy and that comes with the scene where the two towns meet and Sasha introducing Duncan to the team. Causing Tina to locked eyes for a bit and give Sasha an opportunity to make sure the opposition doesn’t win the competition by calling Tina on the phone and try to have her to look over at the window to see a shirtless Duncan, who is just coming out of the water. And if that doesn’t work, he pulled the lever of the fire alarm and causes her and everyone in the hotel to evacuate. Only for everyone but Tina and Duncan to stay put, which resulted in Tina making out with Duncan and thus...
Making things hard for Tina and Henry on the day of the competition as Tina flat out said to Henry on the debate stage that she didn’t take care of her urges to be around Duncan, though to be fair Henry, knowing that you know Tina for...a while...you probably should’ve put two and two together that she is boy crazy and seeing Duncan in the video and in-person would probably tell you that...yeah, this relationship isn’t working out. Which could possibly explain why Henry didn’t even make it into that musical number at the end of “Just One of the Boyz 4 Now For Now”. Not because he’s a forgettable bastard, but it’s mostly because of a few things. Mostly on Henry laid eyes on her and Tina not showing any returned affection onto the guy. So that pretty much sums that up.
Tina did slap some sense into herself and ending up winning the trophy for Wagstaff to take home and defeating Sasha, Duncan, and the rest of the Kings Head Island debate team. But not before ending the episode with both her and Henry to call it quits on their no-so romantic relationship and decided to just stick around as...well... “friend” is considered a strong word for those two. More of “acquaintances”...yeah, that seems about right regarding Henry and Tina. Nothing more than acquaintances.
Then we get to “UFO No You Didn’t” and you could say that is more of his relationship with Susmita, the other person with who he interacted the most throughout the series. Though you may have to sprinkle in some Tina as well since the two, being Tina and Susmita, agreed on building a communication device in hopes to reach and contact extraterrestrial life, but Henry on the other hand thinks that it’s a bad idea. Thinking that what they’re doing for the science fair is pretty much, in his opinion, them playing with fire. Mostly because of the paranoia over the idea that there are different types of civilizations to the point where the two girls could possibly come in contact with the Class III type, who are ultra-intelligent and lightyears in advance when it comes to technology. Fearing that if Tina and Susmita were to build it and make a single contact, then we’d be looking at a possible War of the Worlds, When Mars Attacks, Independence Day type of situation with them getting blood on their hands. Yeah, that’s not going to stop Tina and Susmita from building the device...
Causing him to have some small talk with both Louise and Gene into the custodian's office with coming up with an idea to get back at the two girls for ignoring his message on why talking to aliens is considered a no-no. And that is to pull a prank on them like it’s an episode of Scared Straight with Henry messing things up with the writing, Gene in the classroom with the laptop at hand, so basically him looking over and also housesit as Louise serves as a lookout and a distraction to stall Tina and Susmita as Henry work on messing with the cables and such. All that over a gift card to the local fro-yo shop that Gene and Louise later got...
As they and Henry got a front-row seat to the prank taking effect and Tina and Susmita in panic mode over what they think they did in accidentally caused an incoming alien invasion and going around and making a fool of themselves with Tina going at it and kisses Jimmy Jr and Zeke. And with Susmita, putting a love note into her crush’s locker, but bailed. Of course, Henry thinks that he had enough and thinks to himself that they learned their lesson and called off the prank, causing the two girls to breathe a sigh of relief...before Louise and Gene come out that they helped him out in messing with them, Tina and Susmita arguing on whether they want to continue the project or not and split ways and do their own science fair projects.
And we already know where this is going since this is the relationship portion of Henry’s discussion regarding “UFO No You Didn’t” since it’s pretty much a split between his relationship with Tina and Susmita, we might as well jump over to the end of the episode where after Tina gave her speech about how fucked humanity is facing, you have Susmita giving credit to Tina for that, which causes her to gain some confidence and confess her feelings to a boy she likes...that boy being Henry Haber. In which she tells him in Morse code, in which Henry responded and returns his feelings in the same language. This goes back to the beginning of this piece...how and what does Susmita see in Henry? Like, no...seriously. What does Susmita see in Henry? I mean, I can get that they’re both the smartest kids in their grade, that’s one. They’re both somewhat socially awkward, that’s another one on the list. I guess the Tina factor is there since they both know her and they first met her when they got freaking paired up, so that’s another one on the list. I mean...it may come down to the idea of if either one, being either Henry or Susmita, might be out of their league and yet, defied the odds for some reasons coming from the writers of the show.
I mean...have you took a look at Henry? He’s pretty much a stereotype of what a dork would look like. While yes, he is smart and knows how to mess around with people when everything is not in his favor, let’s not forget that next to Tina, he is the biggest dork on the whole campus and also a forgettable fuck. Susmita is almost the opposite because she doesn’t have that manipulative trait in her own body, unlike Henry, despite that she did help Henry in fooling Louise and Tina over the tickets. She can somewhat be socially awkward, but not in an extreme matter. Yeah, you could say that those two are pretty much out of their own league and sort, but...once the episode ends and transition two seasons later into Season 11 with “Fast Time Capsules in Wagstaff School” and...
Here we are. Henry and Susmita are officially a couple. The cast and crew of the show finally have the balls to give someone like Henry Haber a girlfriend. Though again, you can thank Tina for being an influence with their relationship...mostly on Susmita’s side of the aisle. So to Season 11 with the episode, now dating, with Henry becoming the lucky caller to get the last pair of tickets for the Boyz4Now concert that Louise has been desperately needing, but failed because Henry scored the winning prize. Telling Louise that he’s not even a fan of the group, he only did it because he wants to impress Susmita. Mostly because Susmita is a “Griffin girl”, being the part of the fanbase where the band member Griffin is their favorite out of the four members. Upsetting Louise for not getting the tickets and it looks like both Henry and Susmita are about to have a time of their lives...
Until the next day where things aren’t looking good for the two when Susmita gets upset over what Henry did in correcting her social studies work, thinking that it’s his way of trying to pull a romantic surprise, which...it really isn’t. It’s not a romantic surprise to correct your partner’s work and that got the relationship between those two now going through thin ice to the point where they could be on the verge of breaking up. Hence, you could see why Henry, in the next scene, ready to donate the tickets into the capsule, Tina’s capsule before being yanked by Tammy and puts it into her capsule. And of course, of course, kinda wish Tina would let that whole capsule thing aside and at least try to help out patch things up between both Henry and Susmita. Hell, she did show some concern over what happened and thinks that it’s not too late for him to apologize and get things back on track.
And looking back at the episode, mostly with that scene, while the whole “Susmita being mad at Henry for correcting her work” put their relationship in turmoil is real with him off-camera and apologize to the girl by quoting scenes from Titanic, yeah, the crying coming him look rather sus. And that coming from Louise, who noticed it when he was about to donate the tickets. Not saying that Henry and Susmita faked their fight over a piece of paper, but it’s to the point where something has to be up. And knowing that it’s Henry, something has to be up. But Louise would rather focus on the tickets and try to snatch it, rather, have Henry to hand it over, only to be snatched by Tammy. That is what I would say because later on in the episode with the whole ticket switch-a-roo with Louise and Tina handed the tickets over to Tammy and Jocelyn, who got the fake tickets, leaving the Belcher sisters with the real pair...only to reveal they got the fake tickets as well and guess who got the real ones?
That’s right, Henry and Susmita. Who patched things up with Susmita agreeing to mess with the two Belcher girls by switching the real tickets with the counterfeit ones without damaging any of the capsules that were buried on school grounds. Thinking that it’s pretty much a victimless crime to either Tina or Tammy, mostly Tammy because that is her capsule that she dug up before she and Henry enter the arena to see the concert to close out the relationship portion of this discu...oh wait, there is one thing that bothers some people since we’re talking about Henry.
That would be his brother, Hogarth. Does he ever do anything in the show? Any speaking roles at all? You introduce the guy in Season 5, being there in the same classroom as the likes of Louise, Millie, Andy, Ollie, Arnold, Kaylee, and the list goes on, but did he even done anything. Is the Haber family that forgettable to the viewers? I mean, he did help his older brother out in making sure he gets a win for the presidential race upon hearing over the controversy of naming the class’ chinchilla, being either donning the name Princess Little Piddles, Shinobu, Atlas, any name. But other than that, he is just there in the background with no speaking role. No importance. Last we saw him on the show was with him and Chloe Barbash making their way to the boiler room with Tina following them because a regular and a popular interacting is consider not natural. Then of course there are other moments like him using a random tooth as a test subject to see which soda can dissolve it, in which Peter was about to give it Gene to fool Linda following him losing his last baby tooth thanks to a seagull, but Hogarth came up with a better offer to keep the tooth. But other than that, Hogarth...despite being introduced as Henry’s little brother...nothing much to say but just being a forgettable fuck, much like his older brother. Holy hell, the show needs to touch upon with their side characters. It’s getting downright sickening.
But that’ll do it for the Henry Haber discussion piece. Quite a long one for someone who is pretty much a cardboard box and much like with Courtney and Darryl, this could be a preview of what could be very time-consuming pieces ahead regarding the likes of Jimmy Jr, Zeke, Rudy, Tammy, Jocelyn, and the Pesto Twins. Who knows when or who gets picked. Guess we’ll wait and see, though hoping for each of them to be the last to talk about. Hopefully, before the new season begins in the Fall.
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