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Wednesday, February 13, 2019

Bob's Burgers Season 9, Episode 13 Review - A Triad of Valentine's Stories to (Not) Remember | yahoo201027's Bob's Burgers Reviews.





Well, we’re back from a three, maybe four-week hiatus since “The Helen Hunt” and after that uh…train wreck of a Super Bowl last week from the New England Patriots winning again for like the sixth time to bland commercials all the way to not having ‘Sweet Victory’ performed during the Halftime Show, I think a new episode of Bob’s Burgers should probably patch things up. And lo and behold…this episode did not disappoint. Huh? Alright then.

In this week’s episode of Bob’s Burgers, it’s the return of the Belcher Kids’ story time type episodes and just in time for Valentine’s Day as they must put an end to both Bob and Linda’s arguing traveling to and from the movie by telling their own ending to the movie and also saving their asses on the whole breaking Gene’s bed thing in my spoilerific review of the Thirteenth Episode of the Ninth Season, titled “Bed, Bob, and Beyond”.

Despite that this episode doesn’t feel like a Valentine’s Day episode just like the previous five episodes, almost like with “Better Off Sled” that doesn’t feel like a Christmas episode, it was an alright episode. Yeah, there were some flaws, mostly with the logic of the kids’ story, though you shouldn’t question them about it, it was a good, maybe decent episode. I somewhat had fun with this one because of how it played out. Seeing the kids trying their damndest to stop Bob and Linda from arguing over the whole dirty laundry thing on the floor by telling their own story, how they would end the movie despite that that’s not how the movie actually ended but got postponed towards the end thanks to a fire, using the characters of the movie and…think of it like you would end a series or episode your way. Something to fill in the void. Not like in the form me back in the Roller episode review where I happened to fill out two voids with Gene and Alex during the events of Cheer Up Sleepy Gene and of course, how Gene, Alex, and Courtney got on stage together and find common ground.

And it was a very long time coming to see another episode with the Belcher kids telling their own stories to pass the time. Season 7, May 2017, almost two years since we had an episode like this one with the last episode being the Mother’s Day one, “Mom, Lies, and Videotape” with a sick Linda and Bob having trouble with the camera leading up to the kids telling Linda about their plays for the holiday. And here we are, another holiday episode and it’s the kids who are the ones who are telling the stories to pass the time. So it was great to see it again and maybe we can get more in future episodes. Though if you haven’t been around with my “Frond Files”, “Gayle Tales”, or “Sliding Bobs” reviews, like with these three, gonna dive into the three stories one by one. But unlike with those episodes that I’ve mentioned, instead of choosing who’s story is the best one of all, though I might do that just for keeper’s sake, it’s mostly the kids passing the baton to one another to prevent the argument between Bob and Linda to continue. But all and all, glad to another one of these episodes like that and hope we can get more of that in the future. Now, to the review.


And man, not even the first minute of the episode and already, the trip down to the movie theater is looking kind of sour on one Valentine’s Day night as Linda looked like she’s giving Bob the silent treatment. But no, something has triggered the both of them, yes, both, because Linda can’t be the only one who is mad over something because Bob is mad over something. And found out that the thing that Bob and Linda argue over…is over a load of dirty laundry on the floor with Linda wanting Bob to move it so that she won’t trip over but Bob on the other hand decided to just leave it. I mean, a parent telling their child to put their laundry away in like a basket in the closet, that would’ve make sense. But a husband and wife arguing over a load of dirty laundry and not over like forgetting to pick up their child by the school or not cleaning the gutters, but a load of dirty laundry? Okay. Guess we’re doing that then. I mean, it’s Valentine’s Day and you thought that with Bob and Linda being the center of attention with this episode, yeah, you were hoping for like who impress who with stuff. This time around, nope. Arguing all the way to where we are now on the drive to the movie theater. And of course, have Tina, Gene, and Louise to hop aboard, making the trip uncomfortable for them. Despite that Bob and Linda arguing isn’t their only concern during that little trip.


Yep, they broke Gene’s bed. Tina, Gene, and Louise were having fun jumping on Gene’s bed only to end up breaking it due to the fact that the bed is over capacity to one, maybe two people in that bed. I feel like…you know that song from your toddler years with the little monkeys jumping on the bed…yeah, should’ve mention not breaking the bed as well. The economy is gonna crash anyway, so hang on to that. So having Bob and Linda arguing was bad enough. Them noticing that Gene has a broken bed is another worry for them. Mostly to avoid getting grounded and probably make the situation even worse.


If you think that the movie was gonna somewhat patch things up with Bob and Linda with the kids sensing the perfect opportunity to avoid getting caught, well…nope, not even the movie they are watching have these two make up. Also, can we talk about the movie? Because I don’t even watch any romcoms in my life but holy crap, I feel like the acting in that movie feels like something coming out from a high school, maybe college drama class because it looked like it was going on and on and on. Like get to the point already. I watched first episode of Season 3 of Sword Art Online recently, first half feels like it was dragging on and on and on. But just as the two characters in the movie was about go get the point, i.e. making out, the movie gets interrupted. Not finished because if that movie ended like that via cliffhanger that might never be solved, that would be a massive fuck you to the viewers. But it got interrupted before the movie ended due to a small fire over at the popcorn machine. This is why people often brought their own snacks, well smuggle, into the theaters and not because of the high prices…okay, it’s mostly the high prices, but also faulty machinery. You know, faulty machinery at the movies mostly over at the concession stands are pretty much a common and important issue for moviegoers. Don’t consult to your doctor, go to a mechanic.


The movie trips ended early with the Belcher family now driving back home with Bob and Linda still mad at each other and not hoping for them to arrive home and of course, not finding out about the broken bed in Gene’s room, for the first time since “Mom, Lies, and Videotape” in 2017, almost two years since we last have an episode like this, we have the kids doing their own stories and telling it to pass the time. Only instead to find out who told the better story, though I might do that, key word “might”, it’s now mostly the kids passing the baton in order for Bob and Linda to not arrive home. So the first Belcher child to tell the story of how the movie should’ve ended is with Gene. And if you’re hoping for like a musical rendition, well…nope. Nope.


Gene’s story kicked off with the Queen, who may or may not be Queen Elizabeth II, ordering one of her royal guards to retrieve the princess, who is named…Paula McCartney. Almost a reference to Paul McCartney, one of the two remaining living members of The Beatles if you believe in that whole Paul is Dead conspiracy theory, anyway, the Queen tells one of her royal guards to retrieve Princess Paula back to Buckingham Palace as she, of course, on the bus with the bus driver as the movie genre shifts like a hurricane from romcom that looked like it was coming high school drama class to an action packed thriller that kicked off Gene’s story with what looked like an high-speed chase. 


And we got the name of that bus driver, from Gene’s perspective, named Scott John Dan Steve. You could say you know, what kind of name is Scott John Dan Steve, like what Linda questions when interrupting the story. May possibly be wordplay on the name, rhyming aspect, of Belgian Actor Jean Claude Van Damme. That what I thought of at first. And may possibly stick it like glue. Just as the chase was about to turn into a critical one like it’s freaking Fast and Furious…


Scott John receives a phone call from his friend, or mate, at the pub, or bar here in the United States, named Johnny Nottinghill, who calls him to come over to the pub to watch a football game. In the UK and the rest of the world, they call it football while here in the United States, of course, calling it soccer. And please don’t make fun at the US for not making it for last year’s World Cup. Johnny asks Scott John to head over and watch a football match but of course, he can’t do that at the moment due to the fact that he’s currently driving the bus. With the Princess. Driving in like fuck your speed limit miles per hour, sorry, kilometers per hour. Forgot that the UK and the rest of the world with the exception of the US, Liberia, and Myanmar, uses the metric system. And I’ve been to Mexico over the holidays…metric system…what the fuck? 


Looks like Johnny boy here is gonna be the supporting role to help Scott John and Paula out to prevent one of the Queen’s royal guards from reaching them by kicking and kicking and kicking a shit ton of soccer balls hoping for that guard to at least fall off to buy the two sometime. But of course, that’s not enough to prevent him to reaching up to them and that guard now finally got to the bus to retrieve the princess. But not in the form of “Oh, you can’t do that. You’re royalty. There would be some fiasco out there if you ever do that again.” You know, worry about the image. Nope, found out that the reason why one of the guards, the beefeater, came out and tries to get her back to the palace away from the bus is that there’s an exploding device somewhere in the bus. Only it’s not a device like a pipe or sticks or something like that. Nope, instead, it’s a scone. An exploding scone. Like…how? What? Did someone one day decided to make a homemade scone but instead adding something like sugar or flour or whatever, it’s gunpowder by mistake? And by the way, and this is coming from Gene, the guy who has unlimited amounts of imagination from his head, that if the bus goes below the 50 mph mark, or 80 km/h over at the UK and other parts of the world, the bus will explode. 

The bus will explode if the bus goes below the 50 mph speed limit. And have a scone in place of a bomb…I haven’t seen any action movies for like a while now, sci-fi doesn’t count, but I feel like whenever there’s an action film, it almost feels like it’s either we seen this before and it was recycled from older films or that the logic doesn’t make any sense. You could also say that there some problems with action movies these days and while in this story from Gene, it was a Speed reference, a movie from 1994, it could be based on some films, not all films, have massive amounts of flaws and plot holes that are not patched up. Not to mention how the film was executed and it’s only based on the action because…hype and whatnot. I’m no CinemaSins, just…just stating the point here. And I’m like 40% sure everyone else have their problems with action movies in this day of age since the 80s.


Also the person responsible for sending out that exploding scone on the bus was none other than Scott John’s arch-rival, Big Ben. In which Bob has to correct Gene when it comes to the name mostly because the name “Big Ben” refers to the iconic tower clock landmark by parliament though Gene has to correct him back by stating that people can have that name as well, so don’t question it. But that’s mostly common when it comes to the idea of a nickname. Tell that to…


Pittsburgh Steelers Quarterback and Potential Thanos Understudy for the Next Avengers movie, Ben Roethlisberger. So the Beefeater told both Paula and Scott John that Big Ben is the one responsible for placing the scone on the bus mostly because…well, he’s a dick. He’s a dick. But as the conversation was about to take off about Big Ben being a massive dick, the three are steering towards a random tube out of nowhere in the middle of the street and instead of going through it like inside the tube, turn right and drives on the sidewalk to avoid the tube. They can go avoid the tube, but once they turned to another street…


Yep, dirty laundry. Loads and loads of dirty laundry. The thing that triggered the argument between Bob and Linda since the start of the episode got added into the story and it looks like that’s gonna stick around throughout the whole episode. So you could say like with the netsuke from the last episode back in January, a plot device. So they crash through the hoard of dirty laundry and if you think that one is fairly enough…nope, there’s like nine. Nine more hoards of laundry that the three had to get through. So there’s like ten on the street and they crash into one of the ten and got pass through the remaining nine. Like…hoards and hoards of dirty laundry…is there like a nearby laundromat in the streets? I mean seriously, I feel like come the next election for Prime Minister, it’s not gonna be over the economy or national security or with Brexit. Nope, it’s gonna be over dirty laundry. I’m surprise Theresa May didn’t make the whole dirty laundry dumping in the streets a national issue. I’m pretty sure if I were to visit the UK, first thing when getting off the plane is getting arrested for what I said in the review as hate speech. They got through the dirty laundry only to end realizing that they’re now gonna jump over…


…the London Tower Bridge with the middle part of it just…gone. You could say repairs because of like, not in the line of the I-85 bridge in Atlanta back in March 2017 because that was arson, not the point. Point is that Scott John, Paula, and Beefeater are heading towards the Tower Bridge with no middle path to cross over and Paula on the wheel, let’s just say, she gone bananas and about to take the risk by jumping over the bridge. In which they did. This isn’t like with the early seasons of The Simpsons back in the early 1990s with Homer on the skateboard thinking that he’s getting to reach to the other side of the gorge, only to…already know this story. But it’s not like that and the three made it out alive and now ready to press the brakes and call it a day. However, the brake may have been cut and the bus kept going on just as they are about to head towards the bed factory and found a hoard of…


…broken beds. It’s not just the hoard of dirty laundry that will be in play for the duration of the episode because it looks like it will be the broken bed that will also be the plot device of them trying to tell Bob and Linda, without them being mad over what they did, of breaking Gene’s bed. The bus gets stopped by the broken beds, causing Scott John, Paula, and the Beefeater to exit out through the window, using the Beefeater to break his fall for both Scott John and Paula’s safety and so they did, for like a few miles before stopping with piles of dirty laundry raining down separately as the two share a special moment and share a romantic kiss to close out the movie. But is that enough to get Bob and Linda to put aside their argument and just call it a night? Well…nope. I mean, they seem to enjoy it to pass the time, but it looks like it’s not enough to get these two to patch things up. That and of course, Linda begins to feel a little suspicious about Gene adding the broken bed part into his story. Of course, Gene has to Linda that it’s a part of life and not because it feels like the first domino has already fallen with the whole kids broke the bed thing and not hoping to get in trouble and making the situation worse. Point is, Gene’s story, despite that it got Bob and Linda somewhat intrigue but also questioning the logic and pretty much everything in place, it’s not enough for the two to apologize, meaning that now the baton has been passed on from Gene to Tina as it is now her turn to finish off where Gene left off.


Scott John and Paula, where we left off, landed on top of the Beefeater following the events of Gene’s story after crashing through the broken beds and according to Tina, them worrying about the scone what went explodey boom on the bus isn’t the only problem that the two have to worry about, well, mostly with Princess Paula because the Beefeater alerts her that she has to get going to attend the royal wedding. In which Paula completely forgot about and should about to head over as she is prepare to race against the clock. But not before asking Scott John to accompany him, as in asking him to be his date for the wedding. Scott John worries about that little request from Paula mostly because, like every other movie that involves the royal family and someone who happened to be a normal person, or in this case, the run of the mill Joe, two different worlds. Paula is from the royal family, high and mighty and also well known. Whereas Scott John, just a commoner. A normal citizen with no royal blood. Or in this case, a peasant. But that’s not gonna stop Paula from getting him to attend the event and decided to do some training despite that the wedding begins in like hours from now.


And so the training begins as Paula, Scott John, and the Beefeater, Imma think I might call him Anthony for now on, so Paula, Scott John, and Anthony went from the bed factory to the park as Paula begins to teach Scott John how to be fancy and noble from how to dress properly to drinking tea, of course, with the pinkies out, and then of course, because it’s Tina’s story…


Butt. Paula grows attention to Scott John’s tight, tight butt and about to lose focus on the topic of helping him how to be a noble and begins to focus on his butt. Things look like they’re about to go from PG-13 to Rated R in a jiffy coming from Tina. Paula asks Scott John to give a speech, in which Scott John tells Paula that of two things, doesn’t know who’s wedding it is and of course, later onto the story, stuttering. Oh, so I’m not the only who often stutter, well, to you, speeches. To me…every other conversation. Yeah. And Paula tells Scott John, out of nowhere, that she’s the one who’s getting married and it’s to a duke, the Duke of Doucheberry, and she don’t want to be around him and spend the rest of her life with him and wants Scott John to object the wedding and to be with him. So the genre of the movie when passing the baton on the whole storytelling from Gene to Tina went from an action thriller that has a lot of flaws to a romance story that the person that you just met, after having somewhat of romantic moment, asks you to be his or her date to like the big dance but that person got asked by another person but don’t want to around that person and wants you to one up that person. Or at least I’m getting at here. I don’t know.


The wedding, instead of over at the church like most royal weddings are being held with the recent being the wedding of Prince Henry and Meghan Markle last year, is over at the boat on the river as everyone is hopping aboard on the boat. That does include Scott John in a fancy suit about to board the ship where he sees his mate Johnny by the pub and asks him to come over, have a drink, and watch the game but Scott John’s too busy trying to do Paula’s bidding by trying to object the wedding and get Paula away from the Duke. In which he did, but then stuttering happened when trying to object the wedding and his reason for it. Trying to tell them that Paula’s with the wrong guy and should belong to him. And if you think that the Duke would like go and like challenge him to a duel to win Paula’s heart, which oh god, Scott John would lose badly. Bigly. But nope, instead of that, the objection that interrupted the wedding gets interrupted by something that’s been rocking the boat. 


Causing the sailors to fall down from a top of the boat. And the thing that surprised me during that is what’s coming out of Tina’s mouth, you could say it was lewd. When the sailors when dropping down, Tina said while telling story and this is true, your eyes and ears did not deceive you, “There's a ton of seamen all over the place.” I was like, “Whoa Tina, language girl.” Like, holy shit, they just got pass through the censors without anyone noticing. But of course, she means sailors. Seamen meaning another word for sailors a boarding the ship, not…the other way around. J-just don’t Google it. Don’t google it. I swear to whatever god you pray, don’t google it. Sailors coming down from the top of boat and the objection for the wedding gets interrupted when the boat hit something along the way in the river and if you think that it might be some turbulence, mostly with the engine? Well…


Yeah. Dirty laundry…yet again. As an iceberg…in the middle of the fucking river?! Like…is having no laundromat a freaking issue now around the city? Like holy fucking shit. Get your freaking shit together, town! Yeah, laundry iceberg crashes the ship and causing it to sink. It’s mostly the Titanic. It’s the Titanic. It’s the freaking Titanic on that one cool April night in the Atlantic Ocean as the ship roams around the sea, the iceberg caused a dent on the ship. Thus causing it to sink. It’s now the same with this episode in Tina’s story with the boat crashing onto the iceberg made out of dirty laundry, comes crashing down to the water. Having people in panic mode and swimming in their fancy clothes to safety, mostly with pieces from the ship like furniture to lifeboats mostly because they can’t swim. That and the water is probably that deep like a few feet, maybe a little more than that where as the ocean…yeah, good luck swimming back up into the open air. I think all we’re missing is the orchestra playing out Nearer My God to Thee as the boat sinks. Legend has it that the song played when the Titanic sank as it comes crashing down into the water. You thought it was all in the movie? Spoiler alert, it happened in real life.


So everyone got to their pieces for safety, as well Paula and Scott John by the bed out of the open and of course, they’re doing the Jack and Rose scene, though I haven’t seen the movie, is where of course, the whole “I’ll never let you go, Jack”. Biggest lie in the movie. Like Rose saying to Jack, “I’ll let you go, Jack.” Let’s go of Jack mostly because of the hypothermia and shit and Jack went all, “Okay bye *gurgles*”. Paula and Scott John held on to the bed and Paula decided to tell everyone around the site, oh, it’s another broken bed just FYI, telling everyone about her somewhat undying love for Scott John despite him being a commoner and just as Paula was about to everyone that Scott John is the one who she likes and that who gives a shit that he’s a commoner in the streets and whatnot, gets interrupted by…a random wave in the river. In which Bob tells Tina that rivers don’t produce waves, said the guy who got washed away to a random part of the forest on the river that one unfaithful camping weekend. But he does have somewhat of a point though, rivers do not have waves. So a wave coming out of nowhere to where they are seems rather…somewhat dumb and unreal. Unless of course…global warming. Global warming is pretty much the answer to everything. So Scott John gets washed away thanks to the wave, separating him from Paula just as they were about to have a special moment and of course, kills him. And as for Paula following the disaster…


Moved to America, have eight kids that she would never get mad at everyone of the eight, and of course, trips down on another pile of dirty laundry as Tina stated that every time she thinks of the late Scott John and of course, actually ends the movie. Tragedy, action, drama, suspense, passion, the whole enchilada coming from Gene and later Tina to pass the time…pass the time as the Belcher family now finally arrive back home. So Tina’s attempt to get Bob and Linda to stop arguing didn’t work as well as the family now arrive back home and still mad at each other and of course, the fears of being grounded over the broken bed in Gene’s room has gotten even worse. So now, all hope of Bob and Linda to finally settle their differences to end Valentine’s Day now lies on Louise as she now attempts to patch things up as the Bob now drives the family somewhere else to park the car. I thought they would like park the car in like…by the alleyway…though now that I think about it…yeah, Imma let the episode play out as Louise now prepares to tell her story. You might call this an alternate ending.


Quoting Samuel L. Jackson, he’s alive motherfucker. Scott John survives from the wave that separated both him and Princess Paula as he is now washed ashore. But now sad that because of that wave, Paula is now with the Duke of Doucheberry and now must head back home which is like a few steps up away from the river in which…yeah…resembles the restaurant. Two…two times that happened. First being Gene’s imagination with that Italian lunch lady back in Season 7 with “Bob Actually”. And it’s an English Muffin Shop that the resembles the restaurant. Anyway, Scott John head over there since it is his home and of course, his friend Johnny Nottinghill, who is also his roommate, is there with a beer on his hand and watching a football match in which Scott John once arrived back home was about to join Johnny watching the game until, in sheer coincidence, Paula found him and found alive and well. Still wet, but alive and well. Scott John introduces Paula to Johnny and Paula tells Scott John about what happened and tells him that the whole two different worlds thing is freaking bullshit. And just as the whole thing was going on, Paula trips down a load of dirty laundry when walking into the flat. And of course, like with Bob and Linda earlier in the episode, an argument has erupted.


Look at that, Paula and Scott John got into an argument over the dirty laundry and I love it with Johnny Nottinghill not even paying attention to the ongoing argument between the two as he is too busy being occupied with watching the game. It’s like him saying, “Don’t mind me, I’m just gonna sit there and not listen to not one bit of the ol’ argument as I watch the game on the tele.” Well, the argument spells negative energy spewing around the room enough to cause the dirty laundry to float around midair in a counterclockwise direction, causing a…


…tornado with dirty laundry. A “laundry-nado” as Louise stated. Okay! Like, when that happened as both Scott John and Paula argue the shit out of each other and cause negative energy spewing around and causing the laundry to float midair and spin enough to cause a tornado, I was like, “What?! Oh what the fuck?! What?!” And even Bob and Linda would agree to that with Louise coming up with the idea of a tornado that carries laundry as debris and whatnot. It’s something that been taking the pages from the SyFy movie “Sharknado” with the sharks being carried by a tornado. Four movies made with that movie. It’s like they were really shooting themselves in the foot that been already been shot following the first one with mixed reviews from the viewers. 


Sharknado but with a hint of Day After Tomorrow as the two argue and argue and argue and of course, broken bed come flying up through the inside of the twister and Louise stated that event the broken bed can’t even patch these two up and the laundry-nado decided to make a noise and you could say this the universe saying to the both of them to make up and put aside their differences as the laundry-nado tears through the city of London and destroying iconic landmarks in the city from the Tower Bridge to Buckingham Palace all the way to Parliament and Big Ben, the clock tower, not the person. And I may be surprised that Downing Street might be damaged as well. And with that, this review as long with this episode will now be banned from the United Kingdom. Good night to my English readers!


The two finally decided to put their differences aside after countless moments of arguing and the silent treatment and just floating there in silence, that and the destruction of the city of London, they finally decided to settle once and for all and apologize, in unison, thus resulting in the laundry-nado to die down of course, like with Gene’s story, his version of the movie, Scott John and Paula fall to the ground and share a moment but this time, no interruption. No Beefeater stepping in, breaking their fall, and alert the princess about a  royal event. Nope, special moment and thus putting aside their differences as they later decided to get married over at Westminster Abbey Road, a play in Abbey Road from The Beatles and Westminster Abbey where the royal wedding usually held, as the two finally tie the knot and about to head off to their honeymoon with a new bed courtesy of the Queen. Oh yeah, and I think that random guy that got sucked by the tornado…yeah, I think that guy died. I think he died. Holy hell, I think we have a death in this series for like a really long time despite this is all fictional. But I think Imma call it, first death in the series since Season 1 with Moolisa.


Louise finally put her story to sleep. Gene and Tina did their best to get both Bob and Linda to get Bob and Linda to end their argument but of course, failed to do that. So Louise being the saving grace…yeah, you got to give Louise some applause, not because she’s the last one to get to tell her story, but her story finally got Bob and Linda to arguing over the whole dirty laundry thing that triggered the argument that lasted the whole day. The whole Valentine’s Day wasted on them arguing . And all it took is one bad trip to and from the movies and the kids telling how the movie ended in their version to get these two to shut up and make up by the end of the episode. So you gotta give the kids some credit over that for what they did, even if it’s them not trying to let Bob and Linda know about the broken bed in Gene’s room. Besides, it would take like a snowfall in Hell for Bouchard to split Bob and Linda up and on Valentine’s Day of all holidays. Oh and the kids used the opportunity with that special moment with the apology to tell Bob and Linda about the broken bed to close out the episode. For the lols to end it.



Reaction/Thoughts:

So all and all, what do I think about this week’s episode of Bob’s Burgers? Well, despite that this episode, just like with “Better Off Sled”, doesn’t feel like a Valentine’s Day episode despite that it aired on the week of Valentine’s and by the time this get released, it’s already be Valentine’s Day, it was a decent episode. An alright episode despite that there were like the amount of flaws there are with this one. 

It was nice to have another episode where the kids tells their own stories to pass the time but this time, it’s mostly them seeing if one of their stories can put an end to Bob and Linda’s argument once and for all, in which Tina and Gene did their best and tried to put it to an end when telling their own versions of how the movie ended. Thus having Louise to be the saving grace get these two resolved by the end of the episode. First time since we have one of those episodes since 2017 with “Mom, Lies, and Videotape”, an episode in which I didn’t even freaking did, review wise, so if you want me to do, let me know in the comments below.

The whole thing that been taken up the duration of the episode, the movie that the Belchers watched over, it was somewhat of a crazy ride to deal with. It’s like with, say if you’re in your English class and the assignment you have to do is come up with an ending of a story. You’re version of how the story would end. Filling in the void. That’s mostly what Gene, Tina, and Louise are doing with their stories in order to get Bob and Linda to not argue as the night drags on. That and of course, the broken bed, which seems like a potential waste of time with that plot device of an idea of bringing up the broken bed.

Gene’s story seems rather interesting and have the viewers amped up but have some flaws to get the action going with that bus chase with Paula and Scott John getting away from the Beefeater and he told the two that there’s an exploding scone, a broken bridge, dirty laundry, and a group of broken beds to break their speed. A Speed reference but of course, noticing the flaws coming from action movies these. And of course, that didn’t stop Bob and Linda from arguing. Though they did get intrigued despite having Bob questioning about how the things Gene brought up would ever make sense.

Tina’s story, you could say it seems rather appropriate since of course, it is Valentine’s Day and having the two different worlds thing with Scott John and Paula seems rather making sense. Mostly with Paula slowly having some emotions for Scott John, despite of course, from two different worlds with Paula from royalty and Scott John just being a normal commoner and of course, Paula wanting Scott John to object her wedding when being engaged to the Duke of Doucheberry, of course, having trouble trying to get through his stuttering. Had that moment with Paula standing up to both the royal family and everyone around the water about her relationship with Scott John…until a wave comes in and like the ship, comes crashing down and of course, didn’t get Bob and Linda to stop arguing. But Tina’s story out of three, until I get to talk about Louise’s for a bit, seems to be the tolerable one of the three. Had a moment…until it came crashing down.

Now Louise’s story…good lord, it feels like we just taste crazy sauce with Louise’s story following Tina’s story where Scott John didn’t die from the wave following the crashing of the boat. The laundry-nado with Paula and Scott John’s argument that been tearing through the city of London…yeah, pretty much took the notes from Sharknado in the most confusing, yet the most WTF moment from this episode and have to apologize to put the thing down.


Almost reminded me of “It Takes You Away”, the Series 11 episode of Doctor Who with the frog. Back to being on-topic, in which they did. You could say that Louise pretty much sums up Bob and Linda with that story of hers mostly because in the beginning of the episode with the flashback, she’s the one who overheard it. So…gotta give her credit for that despite being the last Belcher child to tell her story of how the movie ended. So I guess out the three when it comes to whole storytelling thing…probably tied between Louise from experience from the beginning of the episode with the hint of crazy sauce and Tina from appropriate reasons tying in with the holiday and have things going a bit bumpy but somewhat of a smooth sailing…until it falls flat on its face.

So all and all, I think this episode was a decent one in time for Valentine’s Day despite that it doesn’t feel like a Valentine’s Day episode. I love the return of the kids telling their own stories. First time since 2017 since we have that and it’s mostly them passing the baton to prevent Bob and Linda to continue arguing. So gotta give them credit for trying and it took Louise to finally put an end to it. So I’ll give “Bed, Bob, and Beyond”…


…a 7.5 out of 10. And on where does this episode falls when it comes to the rankings on each and every Valentine’s Day episodes, this would fall either on top or below “Can’t Buy Me Math”. It was a decent episode and despite the flaws that been stated with this episode, it didn’t prevent me from enjoying it. Though I think the rewatchability meter may have given the green light to see it for yourself. And tell me what you think in the comments, do you like it? Do you hate it? Do you consider this a Valentine’s Day episode? Which Belcher kid in this episode told the best story out of the three? All of that and more…you know the drill.

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PayPal, Patreon, Ko-fi. Help your boy out to keep the engine running through the rest of the year through the donation sites if you have the time. And tune in this upcoming Sunday, February 17 when Tina, after…oh good god, not being asked to prom by Jimmy Jr, builds a bond with…a goose…better rev up those tanks peoples in the Fourteenth Episode of Season 9, “Every Which Way But Goose”. And until then, that’ll be it for me and I’ll see y’all later.


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