Hello peoples and random Bob’s Burgers fans, if you have watched the Super Bowl earlier this week…boy, that was a train wreck of a watch, right? Anyway, that now got out of the way and with Bob’s Burgers returning this upcoming Sunday with the show’s sixth Valentine’s Day episode, “Bed, Bob, and Beyond”, I say that I would give my Top Five Bob’s Burgers Valentine’s Day episodes based on my rankings and of course, it’s according to my opinion. So if you have your own opinion on these episodes and your own top five, feel free to do in the comments below. So until then, let’s get this love boat set sail…to the middle of the ocean and crash across the waters.
No. 5: "Can't Buy Me Math (2015)
We begin the Top 5 with the Number 5 spot in the Top 5 Valentine’s episodes of Bob’s with “Can’t Buy Me Math” back in Season 5 in 2015. Should probably tell y’all while reading that all these episodes got passable grades ranking from a 7.5 to a solid 10 as the list drags on and “Can’t Buy Me Math” is the first to kick off the list as the bottom five to the top one with a rating from yours truly at a 7.5 out of 10.
It was a Tina-centric episode, but it was also a Darryl-centric episode as well. Yes, despite that the spotlight is mostly on Tina when it comes to her needing Darryl to help her in hopes to pass her next math exam to prevent herself to be put in remedial math, Darryl has been given a spotlight as well and despite that he’s an underrated character, still underrated to this day after two, count ‘em, two, maybe three, if you count “Itty Bitty Ditty Committee”, episodes that been given him the spotlight and the development, I feel like this episode was his time to shine when it comes to him and Tina teaming up and making a deal with the Seventh/Eighth Grade Valentine’s Dance coming up in order for Darryl tutor Tina in math by pretending to go out leading up to the dance with Tina trying to get Jimmy Jr and for Darryl, Rosa Batista.
While yes, they pretend to go out for like a week and grab the attention of everyone, to the point of Louise and Gene finding out and step in, in the background positions mostly because of the prize being money off over at the frozen yogurt place, not gonna lie, they do almost look like somewhat of a cute couple. Hear me out for a second, while yes, they have nothing in common when it comes to either Tina’s interests like horses and zombies or Darryl’s interests like video games, math, robots, comic books, might be putting an asterisk on that, and going to the science museum, their nerdiness kind of blends well. Two nerds going out, despite pretending to go out to get their crushes’ attention, seems like I could probably see a bit of a spark lighting up for a bit when it comes to their personality rather than their interests. They may be socially awkward, but with Tina having romantic experiences like she’s some sort of expert and Darryl, with the help of Tina, how to treat a lady right. You could say the plan worked well once the Valentine’s Dance arrived and won the contest.
Too well to be exact when finding out that Tina actually harbor feelings for Darryl when getting mad jellies when seeing both Darryl and Rosa together and accidentally spill the beans about their pretend relationship, thus resulting in Jimmy Jr storming out and Rosa getting away from Darryl. Well, you can thank that song that Darryl perform to Tina for having her going gaga over him. Despite the deal for Tina to get to be with Jimmy Jr and Darryl to be with Rosa. And it looked like Tina really screwed the pooch with that one.
Of course, everything is fixed…for Darryl and Rosa as Tina tried to fix everything and have to not let their fake relationship cloud around Darryl’s relationship with Rosa and she even brought up Darryl’s embarrassing moment from his second grade year of him peeing down the slide that only he, Tina, and out of nowhere Jocelyn were around when that happened. Darryl’s side of being in the spotlight is done with him being with Rosa once again, but for Tina…yeah, really should’ve have Darryl’s help with math before your next math exam, in which she got another D and got sent to remedial math, but hey, at least there’s an upside for Tina in Jimmy Jr also in remedial math.
And of course, gotta mention that subplot with Bob and Linda, you thought I would forget about this favorite couple in all the land? I think not. Linda decided to create an advent calendar leading up to Valentine’s Day to have some romance with Bob from playing around while Bob is making food for the lunch rush or having a nice little together bath but get interrupted by both Gene and Louise or even that strip tease for Linda only to garner the attention of everyone with the curtains open. You could call this a trial and error but like with Bob in “My Fuzzy Valentine”, it was Linda who now want to impress Bob with those things and you gotta give Linda credit for that and of course, despite that little trial and error that she’s pulled, Bob is impressed with what she did and it look like it’s another Valentine’s plot whenever the challenge, these two can make the impossible possible. And as for the main plot, I feel like Rosa is only a one-shot character and might never return and as for Tina and Darryl, despite that it looks like they might not be an actual couple, them being friends is something I’m okay with as the series goes on.
No. 4: "My Fuzzy Valentine" (2013)
On to the Number 4 spot is the very first Bob’s Burgers Valentine’s episode in “My Fuzzy Valentine” and it mostly focuses on Bob trying to get the perfect gift after countless attempts to impress Linda on the loveliest holiday of the year. Hey, he’s at least trying his best.
But Bob isn’t alone in this when it comes to finding Linda the perfect gift for Valentine’s Day, which is a love meter that he and her used during their date, with the help of the Louise, Gene, and Tina, who tricked Bob to not attend school on that day, so mostly skipping a day. All for the name of love. But it looks like this gift hunting thing has turned into somewhat of a wild goose chase, no pun intended to that upcoming episode on the 17th, of following Ron and Hugo, who’ve go business after business doing their health inspecting duties.
Bob and the Kids did finally got to the machine…at the same time both Ron and Hugo came into the same place that they are at and just as things are about to go Bob’s way when it comes to taking home that love machine…only to find out that the little engravement that Bob put on the back of the machine…yeah, found out the person that Bob took was not Linda. It was a different girl. The main plot isn’t somewhat of a time waster, it’s nothing like that. You got to give Bob some credit. He is trying to get something special for Linda after countless attempts to impress her mostly with items whether if it’s a burger or a load of laundry or steam on the mirror, trying to find the machine that he thought both him and Linda held on to was something. So you gotta give Bob some credit.
Linda on the other hand, oh boy, so I see that speed dating thing on Valentine’s Day seems to be going well for her when setting Mort, Teddy, and the others up so they don’t end up being along throughout the holiday. It almost like things were slightly going well, in Linda’s point of view, until Sergeant Bosco comes in while trying to hunt down a crook on the run and decided to make things interesting for the crowd in the restaurant and of course, that infuriates Linda and thinks that all the work that she ever done is going down the toilet. Even to the point to grab Bosco’s gun out of his pocket which, yeah…Linda…not a good idea to take something out from the hands of a police officer. Thus resulting in Linda getting arrested but of course, was let go when Bob and the kids came back. Letting go with a warning.
Oh yeah, and let’s not forget about that Tina not wanting to head to school because of the “from” incident that she dubbed it. Nothing but fanservice, to close out the episode following the beginning of it with Tina being overly dramatic over her Valentine card from Jimmy Jr that includes the word “from” rather than a heart. And look at that, times change a Valentine’s Day later when Tina finally got her heart along with I guess her homework since she along with Gene and Louise skipped school and of course, closure for the episode and Tina’s somewhat of a convoluting side plot. And this was before the dark times come into play. The whole pairing war thing. And yeah, Bob and Linda can’t be alone when it comes to Valentine’s Day episodes, so the writers had to written them in because why not. Oh man, I feel like I’m going to hell for this.
No. 3: “The Gene and Courtney Show” (2016)
Taking in the Top 3 Spot in the Top 5 Countdown is “The Gene and Courtney Show” from Season 6 and man, oh man, it was somewhat of a conflicted night when the episode first aired back in 2016. And it focuses on both Gene and Courtney, who came back after Season 5, now as friends, taking the reigns of being announcers for the morning announcements, of course, their relationship history decided to interfere.
Although that Gene and Courtney are great as friends, JUST friends, because of something they have in common when it comes to the entertainment section like music and theater. Them as a couple, with their relationship back in Season 3, despite that Gene was given into peer pressure thanks to Courtney, and with this episode, them being alone and working on stuff for future morning announcements leading up to Valentine’s Day, yeah…they are not good as a couple. Two times! Two times they became a couple. And that’s somewhat great for them, despite the opinion of them being a couple is somewhat 40:60, 30:70 tolerable/hate…stay as friends. For the love of god, stay as friends.
Don’t get me wrong, it was a good episode and it was nice to have some development for Gene and for Courtney as well…well, mostly Gene since it’s focuses on his friendship with Courtney as the two got a gig for the morning announcement following a snooze-fest of an announcement coming from Ms. LaBonz and things were really going great for the two…that is until their relationship history comes crashing in and…
Yep, back together. Too bad it was short-lived though because their relationship, them being a couple again, was pretty much interfering with their jobs as the announcers and had the two put in a very difficult position when it comes to the morning announcements, either do your job and entertain but may result in the two breaking up for the second time or be happy with each other but end up getting fired over interference. Again, very difficult position that both Gene and Courtney had to put up. It’s pretty much pick your poison for the two, keep your job but end your relationship once again? Or keep your relationship but end your career? So the first option has become the answer for the two and decided to call their relationship off again.
And then there’s the song. Oh man, the song. Coming up around the overnight hours and thinking about his relationship with Courtney, Gene comes up, written, and created a song that would be later be in use come their turn for the morning announcements on Valentine’s Day following his and Courtney’s second breakup. Though it didn’t get me emotional when first watching it, it got the school emotional when the song played throughout. Talking about the process of being a relationship and of course, the heartache when calling things off. Man, Gene isn’t pulling any punches when it comes to this song. That got the students and faculty emotional over it. Got Zeke really emotional with tears coming out from his eyes. And of course, got Tina, while delivering the roses following her trying to look for a letter, thinking that someone send her a note, to do some thinking and probably accept defeat…until Jimmy Jr comes in and gives her a rose come the end of the episode.
So that’s that, Gene and Courtney kept their jobs and beyond all else, looks like they decided, in my point of view, to just stay friends. And nothing else. And I’m glad to keep it that way all the way to recent episodes, mostly with “Roller? I Hardly Know Her!” and not making it the whole “Gene still have feelings for Courtney” thing. But it looks they’re gonna be just fine. Just fine. I’m okay with them being friends and them being friends it shou. Don’t worry Gene, you’re find that special someone someday. There’s plenty of fish in the sea and you’ll find the right one come swimming in your way *cough* Alex *cough*, oof, sorry about that, dry throat.
No. 2: “V for Valentine-detta” (2018)
Taking up the runner-up spot in the countdown is “V for Valentine-detta”, the Valentine’s episode of last year. Perfect episode to kick off the year 2018 and rather than it’s all out lovey dovey like previous episodes, this one is just the girls, being Linda, Louise, Tina, and Nat, having a night out around town to cheer a heart broken Tina out of the dumps after Jimmy Jr not picking her to be his Valentine.
Just putting it out there and out there alone, Nat…MVP of this episode despite being the supporting character driving the Belcher girls around and aiding Tina with a stink bomb to disrupt Jimmy Jr’s date with Becky Krespe. And you got to give Jillian Bell some credit where credit is due when it comes to voicing the limo driver. She did a spectacular job doing the character and I hope that she can come back for another episode, despite that her voice actress lend her voice in the Christmas episode earlier in the current season as Rudy’s cousin Mandy.
Becky is also an interesting piece to watch when seeing her on her date with Jimmy Jr as in the same date that Tina wanted to ruin but of course, can’t over the fact that just as Tina was about to drop the stink bomb that Nat gave her, looking at her on the other side of the table where Jimmy Jr is at looked really happy. Looking all happy and innocent and not noticing the BS that about to erupt coming her date come…that…timing. I feel like I’m censoring myself like there’s a certain group of people who ship a particular ship in the series pointing a gun at the back of my head. But Becky didn’t do anything wrong. That’s not Becky’s fault. That’s coming from Jimmy Jr following her recently having her braces off that got him to pick her over Tina. And Tina knows that she didn’t do anything wrong. One look at the girl and boom, the girl decided to step aside and let Becky be happy for once. Waiving the white flag and all and if Becky’s happy, then Tina’s happy.
But then the happy moments turn to sad times when Jimmy Jr break up with Becky mid-date following Tina’s little speech and decided to take Tina back and leaving poor little Becky heartbroken. Okay, that almost made go into rant mode for the third time, third. Pretty sure my therapist isn’t gonna be freaking glad over me going after what happened. Let’s just say that this isn’t Jimmy Jr’s proudest moment before and during the date and what he did is not right. Don’t know when that redemption episode is gonna be airing but that better change my mind on him. Oh yeah, and better blame Jimmy Pesto Sr, who only there in a non-speaking cameo, for lighting the uncontrollable wildfire known as Jimmy Jr’s character. When’s the next hiatus so I can get a massive breather?
Oh yeah, and there was a subplot with Bob and Gene and them trapezing and hanging on midair for life throughout the night. Wish we have more father/son moments coming from them in the future. Like to apologize for almost getting off-topic and getting me into rant mode. Hope that won’t happen again. Let’s get to number one in the list.
No. 1: “Bob Actually” (2017)
And at Number One in the Valentine’s episodes of Bob’s Burgers list of wonder, okay, you knew. You knew why this episode took the number one spot. Okay, fight me. I’ll take the whole family on, I really don’t care. But yeah, number one spot in the list and this episode did not disappoint.
You have four plots in one what looked like a buffet of stories that we have whether it’s Tina dealing with some stomach problem while trying to hang out with Jimmy Jr or Gene being with that lunch lady over at the cafeteria kitchen or Bob trying to impress Linda by taking some dance classes while Linda deal with Ms. Selbo’s problems or even with Louise dealing that she thought that Rudy might have a crush on her after seeing him buying weeds from Zeke. And these four, not one plot, NOT ONE, downplay the episode and it was glorious. It was pure cheese or whatever what the kids are saying these days.
The plot that sold me from really enjoying the episode and when it first came out, gave it a 10/10 rating from myself and of course, made me lose my mind is of course, Louise and Rudy. Out of two people to have their subplot of the episode and on Valentine’s Day no less are both Louise and Rudy. And man, that did not disappoint. You mostly have Louise going through the facts that looks like Rudy, his best buddy, has a massive crush on her, in her opinion when eavesdropping Rudy when buying the weeds from Zeke, thinking that the weeds and the card that he’s holding is meant to be for her and saving it for when lunch comes in. And she even asks Tina, who’s currently in the bathroom just as she was about to have a Valentine’s Day in her life with Jimmy Jr, about all this. And Tina tells Louise that you’re gonna have to live with it. This isn’t a dream, or rather nightmare. You’re not dead and haven’t made it to Hell. This is your life now. This is reality. You can’t stop it. But that’s not gonna stop Louise from trying to get into Rudy’s head and tell him that they’re just friends and nothing else. From the booger eating to telling him that the holiday have became commercialized, Louise tried to tell Rudy that she’s ready to have their friendship to enter the relationship level, but unable to get Rudy to change his mind…only to find out that the weeds and card aren’t even for Louise but for a girl that he’s been crushing named Chloe. So for Louise, it was a false alarm and being overdramatic over Rudy like-liking her. But at the same time, somewhat upset over the fact that Rudy likes another girl and you could say this was the jealousy talking. Maybe it’s fear that what if Rudy gets his feeling hurt on the one day a year. That’s up to you to decide. Though it’s mostly jealousy. Fight me. I don’t care.
Oh yeah and found out that Chloe’s nothing more than a gold-digging little brat who only wanted Rudy for his quiz answers and Louise ain’t having that. Fending off against her and protecting Rudy from a potential heartbreak and of course, Louise, come the end of the episode telling Rudy that Chloe’s been using him for his answers and that won’t even care for him. And that of course, put Rudy into the dumps, that is until…
Yep, the moment that stole the episode, Rudy’s first kiss that is also Louise’s first kiss. And I leaped in joy the first time the episode aired that one somewhat faithful February 2017 night. Pretty sure everyone did. And if anyone ask that the kiss is nothing more than a pity kiss, we may have problems afoot. But that moment pretty much stole the episode. Really stole the episode.
Other than the three other stories of the episode with Tina trying to have the Valentine’s Day of her life with Jimmy Jr, Bob trying to impress Linda with dance, and Gene and that lunch lady making chocolate desserts, the Louise and Rudy plot pretty much, in my opinion, stole the show, or in this case, the episode because of the development. Because of how the episode, mostly with this little plot that stole the spotlight was handled. Not to mention, Louise. Oh man, Louise…sticking up to Rudy by calling Chloe out. Despite that it was probably out of jealousy, your words, not mine, Chloe was about to break poor Rudy’s heart and Louise was not gonna let that one slide and defends his honor and whatnot. I adore Louise and Rudy’s friendship and, to tell you the truth, I ship them. Yeah, I said it. Louise and Rudy, it’s a better ship for Louise. They look out for each other. And at least Rudy isn’t Logan of all people.
Well, that’s does it for the Valentine’s Day Episode Ranking coming from me as I now await possible hate messages coming from some of the fans, but tell me what you think in the comments below, do you like it? Do you hate it? Do you agree with my rankings? Do you have your own rankings when it comes to these episodes? And will you see the episode on February 10? Again, comments down below.
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