We’re halfway through the 2020s, and we all agree that when it comes to the state of animation, and possibly the world in general, it is straight donkey balls. It is straight donkey balls. Let me explain why. For anyone who catches up with everything animation, the 2020s aren’t so kind to any animated project, whether it’s a TV show or a movie. When the pandemic struck and everything shut down, resulting in everyone in quarantine, live-action projects like movies, shows, and other stuff had to be put on hold or recorded from their homes. Do you know which form of media was there to keep us busy and do new things from the comfort of their homes? Animation. They were around during the early days of the pandemic. Whether you binge-watch older shows like Avatar: The Last Airbender on Netflix or watch newer stuff that came out that year, like The Owl House or Central Park, or shows that were airing during that time, a few examples are Bob’s Burgers, Amphibia, Infinity Train, etc. Things were looking bright as if we had hit our peak. But once the quarantine is done and COVID-19 is no longer considered a global emergency, is where Hollywood decided to take a nasty shit on the medium as if it just ate Taco Bell. Where am I going with this regarding The Great North?
I mentioned in last week’s episode review when briefly talking about the four FOX shows (American Dad, Bob’s Burgers, Family Guy, and The Simpsons) getting a four-season renewal, and noticed The Great North not being mentioned for renewal talks. You’ll probably give me the stink eye when reading this as if I’m typing with a tinfoil hat, but it’s almost a clear giveaway that The Great North might be getting sent to the Shadow Realm. I’m saying that there’s a good chance that the show might be getting canned. And the signs are pretty much there from the start. Presumably, since before the start of the current Animation Domination season. The unannounced new episode on Labor Day weekend, the unannounced season premiere the week of Christmas, getting pushed a week after the rain delay in Daytona while Family Guy, Grimsburg, and Krapopolis get their episodes aired, a lack of promotion, and now, the flip in the time slot. It’s no secret that the lineup is getting clogged with American Dad coming back to the block after its TBS run, but it’s not a secret that they want this show gone. And fucking it over would be the way to go.
Take it with a grain of salt, but like with most 2020s animations, the mistreatment has to stop. I don’t want to sound like I’m being doomy and gloomy, but until we get word on whether or not we get a renewal or call it GGs, the best we can do is show our support for the series. Show our appreciation like there’s no tomorrow. I know that five seasons seems like it should be enough, but we can’t let this and any other show that came out this decade become another relic of greed and everything else where shit like this should be investigated. Apologies for the rant in the introduction, but this might as well be the introduction because I got nothing for this week’s episode. And yeah, show your support, even if you have to call me a doomer for saying this. Just tired of the disrespect we’ve seen since the start of the decade. This needs to stop. This shit ain’t funny. And it will never be.
On this week’s episode of The Great North, what was supposed to be a snow day for a selected few in Lone Moose, including the Tobins, turns into a mystery with Moon and Golovkin investigating what is going on as the adults get trapped in the car in the middle of a snowstorm as the conditions worsen in my spoilerific review of the ninth episode of Season 5 of The Great North, titled “Dial M for Moon-der Adventure”. Okay, I lied. I do have an introduction for a bit since it’s pretty much taking up one and a quarter of a page in the document.
We all remember growing up when there was always that one time a year back when we were in school during the winter. Hoping for some flakes to fall enough to cause the roads to be hazardous and have to watch the news to see if your school will be getting canceled, so you can enjoy a snow day. Those were the times back in the day. Had that a few times at least while I was living in the Atlanta suburbs whenever there was winter weather around. And I’m sure y’all did as well, having to grow up where you easily get snow. The place I’m in currently rarely gets it like this past Winter. And all you need for that to happen is for a hurricane to hit the previous summer, just to do that. But yeah, the memories of having fun in the snow and doing a lot of stuff outside- this was before we were all glued to our devices, by the way, even if it lasted for a day or two before the temperature went above the freezing point. Not unless you’re the Tobins and a select few in this episode who had to go to school in the middle of a snowstorm, and that should be enough to get the team-up of Moon and Golovkin to play detective. And that is exactly what we’ll be talking about. This is “Dial M for Moon-der Adventure”.
The episode starts on a blistery snowy morning in either at or near blizzard conditions, with Moon waking up to the sounds of the radio listing out the school closings for the day due to the inclement weather. And just like waiting for the winning lotto numbers, Moon listens to the radio to see if Lone Moose is on the list for closure and to have a snow day. Lo and behold, he and every other student across town got their wish. School in Lone Moose is officially closed for the day. The kids of Lone Moose celebrate as if they just won the Super Bowl. Jubilation across the board, hence, Moon ripping a page from the word of the day calendar, going from rescind to jubilant.
We go downstairs to the breakfast table, and even though the big news should be the snow day that was announced on the radio, it looks like the biggest news for the Tobins and one that came out of freaking nowhere and out of left field is Beef’s relationship. A year and a week since Beef and Carissa got together, and as of this episode, that’s all ancient history. Going into this season, the big question on everyone’s mind would be whether or not Beef’s newfound relationship with Carissa is going to last. And even though they were together in “The Lies Aquatic Adventure” when they went to the hotel for a getaway, the answer is a resounding no. And for Wolf and Honeybee, they think that something as serious as a breakup to a relationship that they thought would be the perfect rebound for the guy, only to not be the case anymore, would be devastating for Beef knowing how much of an emotional mess he can be since Kathleen fucked off and left. Pretty much, the two have to worry about Beef’s reaction and decide that they want to be nosy about it. The blizzard conditions and Wolf having to cook up his signature drink, Wolf’s Wolfies, should be the perfect trick to get him to spill.
But let's get back to the snow day announcement. Moon has already set his plans for the day, with school canceled and the snow blowing, with him presenting his blueprint for when he goes to hang out with Henry and Russell, and it happens to be a snow fort in preparation for their snowball fight with a couple of people to serve as the opposition. The opposition being the group of people called the Snowball Boyz, which happened to be a pair of first graders, and Moon’s team would think that it’s free eats because they’re older, they should be the most experienced, and it should be easy for them to take the dub. But they’re a terrifying bunch that they don’t want to mess around with, but have to if they want to one-up them in their own game, and the inclement weather, like a snowstorm, should be that day to call in a challenge.
We know what Judy won’t be doing for her snow day, and that is doing some tap dancing. Honeybee was annoyed that Judy was practicing her tap dancing skills whenever she was in the house. Luckily for her, that’s not going to happen anytime soon. Judy decides to put away the tap dancing shoes, which is disappointing to some at the table because Judy wants to try the thing out and thinks that she is going to be the next big thing on stage. She thinks that it’s because she just doesn’t feel like it, but Ham knows the real reason behind it when struggling to hold himself together, and that is that she had an embarrassing moment revolving around her tap dancing performance that involved some flatulence that made her the joke of the school that got Ham and Moon unable to contain their laughter and for Judy to pretty much be annoyed by what she is hearing coming from her brothers when bringing up a moment that she’s not going to get through anytime soon.
Judy, annoyed over Ham and Moon bringing up her embarrassing moment to the table, gets the phone once it rings, and it looks like it’s bad news for the Tobin kids regarding the snow day. Revealing to be Principal Gibbons through a robocall that the snow day had been rescinded and that all students must go to school. Going to school in the middle of a snowstorm. Sure, like going to school or work in the middle of a severe weather event, sounds like a good idea, and hopefully, it doesn’t create serious consequences on the way there. Boy, hope we all learned our lesson whenever there’s shit like that happens that it doesn’t cost lives just because of stupid reasons like being delusional that it’s not going to be as bad as the forecasters say or just being greedy. The Tobin kids aren’t happy about the news that their snow day is canceled, and they are forced to go to school. And since the call was sent to the Tobins to alert the kids that there will not be a snow day, it means Dirt is on the job as well. Oh yeah, y’all almost forgot that Dirt still has a job as the lunch lady following the debate episode. And when the images for this episode came out a few weeks ago, along with the synopsis, it pretty much spoiled what the outcome is going to be regarding Dirt. Especially since one of the images for “Can’t Hardly Debate Adventure” spoiled the freaking ending. The kids and Dirt head off to school in the middle of a snowstorm with Beef driving, and for Wolf and Honeybee, that’s their best chance to get Beef to spill what happened between him and Carissa by tagging along for the ride.
Going to the front entrance of the school as weather conditions worsen, with the Tobin kids and Dirt being dropped off. Moon tries to convince Beef to drive away from the school so he and the others can enjoy their snow day, but it looks like that’s not happening. The Tobin kids and Dirt enter the school, all dark and empty, with almost everyone not present as they make their way to the respective classrooms, and for Dirt to make her way to the cafeteria to get ready for her job. Feels like what school would look like whenever there’s summer school, only it’s the winter, and who the fuck wants to go out in the middle of a snowstorm with a questionable decision to reverse the call of having a snow day.
The Tobin kids begin to separate to their respective classes, with Judy and Ham going to Golovkin’s room, where the only other student their age who is in attendance is Loud Sandy and that’s about it with Golovkin in attendance because he was supposed to be at his home for the day to launch his model train set that he saw on VidVok... seriously, the show can go around the hurdles to get brand names mentioned and yet, TikTok is still not allowed to be mentioned. Unclear if the episode was made before the 14-hour ban that happened back in January, but still, they can get through the hurdles, that being the laws of television, and yet TikTok can’t be brought up. Back to the topic at hand, Golovkin was supposed to do his thing with his girlfriend, Ms. Anderson, out of town, before getting the call that the snow day was canceled by Gibbons through a robocall. Despite the frustration that they lost their vacation for no reason, you have Moon turns in a noir film that Golovkin gave him as part of a trade to get another batch of films of the same genre. And just as the trade is about to take place, like it’s a video rental store back in the day...
Ms. McNamara appears on the screen. And for no reason whatsoever, there are TVs installed at the school. There are TVs installed at the school, and what’s odd about that is that we’ve seen the classrooms, mainly Golovkin’s class, and you don’t see a TV in any of the classes. We've seen one in Mrs. Hill’s class, Moon’s class, and that’s about it. You don’t see a TV in Golovkin’s class. You don’t see it in the science room. Yes, I did check to see if there are TVs other than Moon’s class to further my point. And the only way to get a TV, unless you’re in Moon’s class, is when you have to bring in an old TV on wheels with the VCR attached. Ol’ school back in the 90s days of going to school. Makes you question what the hell is the school’s budget, and the additional TVs that were installed were part of the school being rebuilt, which was never touched after the Season 3 two-parter. But yeah, Gibbons is not here, and with it, you have McNamara being named the deputy principal for the day, much to everyone’s dismay. It’s no secret that everyone here in the school isn’t too keen on Ms. McNamara as the guidance counselor. So having her in charge for the day isn’t going to be easy for everyone while yes, a fucking snowstorm is getting worse by the hours for anyone who dared travel. Speaking of which...
You have Beef, Wolf, and Honeybee trapped on their way out of the school. The storm is not making things easy for them after dropping the kids and Dirt off because of the snow on the ground continuing to build and now, with the visibility at near-zero conditions, traveling back home should be considered a no-go until the storm is cleared, which is going to take a while to do so. And I don’t think calling in for help is going to be a good idea because that could put a first responder in jeopardy during this storm. So, the three adults are pretty much stuck for the time being until the storm dies down. Luckily for them, they don’t have to freeze and be forced to venture out because Wolf brought his Wolfies in three separate canisters for them to drink, not knowing for Beef that this is Wolf and Honeybee’s way to get him to confess what happened between him and Carissa. And this would be the right time for the spillage to happen between the three of them...
Or make that four of them because Russell’s mom Marie knocked on the back of the van because she got stuck on the road as well after dropping Russell off due to the weather and luckily enough, she caught the Tobins’ van and decided to enter, once the Tobin adults let her in to ride out the storm and about to get a sip of Wolf’s Wolfies to warm her and everyone else up... that and getting crunked. After all, there is alcohol mixed in the drink.
Switching into the cafeteria with the students, consisting of Judy, Ham, Moon, and Sandy, and now Quinn and Russell into the mix, along with Golovkin in attendance, and Dirt minding her business as she cooks up a pot of soup called New England Chunky Chowder for everyone to eat. Only for Quinn to bring up that the type of soup Dirt is making is banned by the FDA because they can’t identify the chunks in it. That’s not going to stop Dirt from making it anyway because this is the only thing that she can find from a part of the kitchen where it was locked up, just to follow the FDA’s procedure. So that might as well be the food for the day unless you want to starve during the snowstorm. This pretty much begs the question regarding everything that is going on as of late.
How come a selected few came into the school and not everyone else after getting the robocall? Why did Gibbons decide to pull back his decision to let the students stay home during a snowstorm? And most importantly, the pot of soup can’t be the only food source for the day when having to survive the snowstorm. Those are the questions that need to be investigated. And for Moon and Golovkin, who became mystery movie enthusiasts, decide to play investigator and investigate what is going on so that everyone can get the hell out of the school... well, once the weather settles down first. Reminding them of the movie “Hung Jury,” where someone called in a selected few to serve jury duty for a murder trial, only to find out that it was not picked at random, but instead felt like those selected were being put on a suspect’s hit list. That’s what is coming down to with the current situation, which is why everyone opted out instead of the selected few (Judy, Ham, Moon, Russell, Quinn, and Sandy) who are in attendance. Putting everyone but Moon, Golovkin, McNamara, and Dirt on edge. Ms. McNamara doesn’t buy the idea of everyone in the building being targets and orders them to put their stuff away into their lockers. Only to end up once we get to the next scene to close out the first act of the episode...
Everyone is getting glitter-bombed once they open their locker. Judy got glittered first, followed by Ham, Sandy, Moon, Quinn, and Russell in that order. Having glitter all over them upon opening, as if undoing the combination that triggered the device to shoot out an excessive amount of glitter, something coming out of a slumber party, or a prank war any of y’all once experienced. Though Golovkin did tell Russell not to open his locker after seeing everyone else opening theirs, but ends up opening it because he thought he was told to open his locker as if it’s Opposite Day. But that should be enough for the case to be opened over what is going on that robbed everyone of their snow day and with that, to close out the first act of the episode, we got ourselves a Scooby-Doo mystery in our hands to find the sick son of a bitch behind the stunt that stole their snow day.
We enter the second act of the episode with every student having most of the glitter out of their bodies, and for Moon to rock the trench coat that he picked up from the lost and found, and is ready to solve the mystery so he and the others can get their snow day. Out here ready to play detective like he’s Sherlock Holmes or Detective Conan, minus the transforming into an adult since that’s the premise for Case Closed. And yes, that anime has more episodes and is still ongoing than One Piece. And I had to look up the longest-running anime series, and no joke, there’s a series called Sazae-san that has a total of nearly 2,800 episodes and counting. In NBA terms, it’s as if Michael Jordan never retired and is still hooping at his current age just to keep his records intact.
Moon donned the coat to get into the business. And already, we got our first clue in the investigation in the form of the robocall that everyone got, which led them to go to school in the middle of the snowstorm. People here think that it’s Gibbons who decided to rescind the snow day for everyone, or so we thought, because it turns out the robocall that was sent to everyone, or rather, the selected few who got the phone call at the start of the episode, turns out to be fake. McNamara asks Moon if he has any evidence to prove his claim to be correct. Moon replies that he is “working on it”, only to find out he does, courtesy of Golovkin keeping Gibbons’ voicemail and playing it for everyone to listen to through the speaker. And no surprise, the audio was edited to make it look like it’s actually Gibbons himself making the call to cancel the snow day. And since he’s not here at the school, it means anyone in the school, inside and out, they’re suspects. So, the edited audio recording is the first clue on the agenda of this case, and yes, I said edited as in someone recorded Gibbons through an audio recording and not used AI like what some people would do these days to make it look believable.
So, we got our first clue of the investigation and that should be enough for Ms. McNamara to give Moon and Golovkin the end of the day today to find what they are looking for and if they can find any evidence and reveal who the suspect is, then them and everyone else can leave for the day and enjoy their snow day. Automatically considering it as a “challenge accepted,” as McNamara gives everyone a to-do list, which is pretty much a chore list for the students and Golovkin to do for the time being. For Sandy, Quinn, and Russell, they have to go to the library to “un-dog-ear” any page from any book. Pretty much getting rid of the drawings on each of the library books, treating them as vandalized. Of course, Sandy has to bring up to McNamara that she got banned from the library, and McNamara temporarily lifted the ban for her to do her job. Oh, jeez, I wonder why Sandy got banned from coming back to the library. Ham and Judy are tasked to polish the basketball at the gym. And for Moon and Golovkin, despite looking for more evidence and finding the suspect at large, they were tasked to scrape the gum off every desk across the school.
We all know they ain’t gonna scrape the gum from every desk, and instead, all of their focus is on the investigation to find who is responsible for dragging the selected few into the school during a snowstorm. The two enter one of the classrooms to serve as their mini-headquarters for the day, as Golovkin now dons the detective get-up like Moon with a trench coat on the ready and a hat to wear. And with that, we’re in business when using the whiteboard to come up with a list of names of who is responsible for the whole mess. Starting with the substitute teacher named Mr. Weiner... who is in prison for being an arsonist, and that was after people made fun of his name. So yeah, a list of names to list out on who the suspect is, like it’s a game of Guess Who, if anyone remembers that game.
And say what you want about the episode, and you have every right to feel... I guess, indifferent when it comes to sharing our opinions about it, we can at least agree that the team-up with Moon and Golovkin was the highlight of the episode. This was an interesting duo team with the two characters having to share the spotlight in this episode since Season 3’s “Arranger-ous Minds Adventure,” where they both find out that they have OCD and their fantasies of their significant other leaving them because of them being organized, too organized to be exact, in the style of a noir film.
And see that happening with them as the episode progresses, as the investigation continues. It was quite the team-up with them, and I would say I would like to see more of this in future episodes, but if the news of the inevitable becomes reality while typing or posting the episode review, then I guess take it what we get with this episode regarding the dynamic between Moon and Golovkin. And let’s hope that doesn’t become the case. Because if it is, it’s GGs. It’s straight GGs. Let’s hope that doesn’t become the case and doesn’t turn it into a jinx. Spoiler alert: It might, and it will.
We have to check up on the adults for a bit with Beef, Wolf, Honeybee, and Marie having a round of Wolfies to warm themselves up during the arctic weather. Beef attempts to turn on the radio to get the mood going since the four are slowly starting to get drunk courtesy of the alcohol (rum and whiskey) mixed into the batter, no Dare Bear in this episode, but due to the weather, no luck in getting any signal. For Wolf and Honeybee, now is the time to make a move to get Beef to spill by having everyone play a game while drunk, with the topic being secrets, where everyone has to tell a secret that they’ve been hiding. Pretty much truth or dare, just without the dare part. Just as the game was about to start...
They got stopped by Chief Edna, who noticed the van trapped in the snow before noticing the canisters of Wolfies in the van, as if they had smuggled something illegal that they bought from the black market. Everyone thought at first that they were going to get arrested for having an alcoholic drink, and yes, Wolf’s Wolfies is considered alcoholic, you know, being charged with a DWI. But it looks like that’s not going to be the case because Edna wants in, and with that, we've got ourselves a packed van, and thus, the game begins for the adults to spill their secrets. Starting with Edna, who reveals that she misplaced her police-issued handcuffs and, instead, in its place, it’s the handcuffs that magicians use for their set to escape during an act. She probably thought that it would be the same because you would have to be a magic expert to get out, and thought it would be a good idea to use those handcuffs instead of getting a new pair. Don’t know if it’s possible for whoever is in charge of the justice system to lend Edna another set, but that’s her secret to spill, and we have a long way to go... she has a lot of skeletons in her closet to reveal even though the game was meant for Beef as what Wolf and Honeybee originally intended.
Going back inside the school with Moon and Golovkin, using the whiteboard as a bulletin board, and have everyone lined up as the possible suspects in stick figure forms since the characters who were drawn and used as examples when naming as possible suspects aren’t even in the episode, spoiler alert: Henry is at the end of the episode and Bethany... well, she’s there, just sitting in the sidelines; but regardless, they have the characters that we know as possible suspects since everyone was present the day before because the person behind all of this had this planned ahead of time. But with a long list of suspects, most of them listed on the board absent because they didn’t get the call, it’s going to take a while for them to get an answer. But just as Moon and Golovkin continue to talk about the possible suspects, especially after taking a sip of their flasks of chocolate milk, and everyone is doing in part in doing chores for McNamara...
The suspect decided to be a sick fuck and plays a compilation of everyone’s embarrassing moments that were secretly filmed or had been stolen. Broadcasting through every TV that was installed across the school, from the school to the gym to the library... seriously, where the hell did all this funding come from? The first video shows Golovkin in a suit and tie with a top hat and about to do a musical number in his basement with him hoping for the school board to give him the nod for teacher of the year. He was hoping for no one to see this video and thought that it was put away before someone did some tricks to either steal the video or to hack into the system or bought some spyware devices to record the damn thing. The point is that Golovkin’s video got exposed to everyone, and this is just the start.
Quinn’s video is up next as we transition to the library where she, Russell, and Sandy are to clean up the vandalized books per McNamara’s request and remember in “Autumn If You Got Em Adventure” where Quinn and Moon made a deal and the proposition from Quinn was to join Moon’s group because her other friends are getting into girly girl things like makeup and a website about boys? You know, her being a tomboy and all. Well, we have a video of Quinn on stage as a pageant girl. She was a pageant girl and didn’t want anyone to know about it before this moment, and broadcast it across the school to get everyone’s attention. I can already imagine Moon’s reaction to this since we know he has a crush on her, probably trying to contain his laughter, though he doesn’t want to be rude, but surprising that once we get the next commercial break to wrap up the first half of the episode when everyone in the school is being named suspects, he didn’t shout out to Quinn saying, “Wait, you were a pageant girl?!” And speaking of Moon...
We have a video of him and Ham at a thrift store, playing around with various clothing from the racks. And here’s what's weird about this recording, because with Quinn and Golovkin, along with Russell and Judy, it was recorded on camera, whether on the phone or an old-fashioned hand-held camera where you have to use tape for the cassette to play on the VCR. This was either shot with the phone camera or caught on a security camera. If it were on camera through the phone, you would think that either Ham or Moon would notice, unless the person was hiding from inside the racks. But if this were a security camera, then we might be looking at a possibly deranged individual who knows no bounds and should be considered dangerous to deal with.
Then we have Russell’s embarrassing moment, and it shows him struggling to go down the slide... a slide made for toddlers. I mean, if it’s because he has a thing for heights, then fine, I can probably hang with that because most people have a fear of heights and want to tackle it. The slide would be the first thing to do, and Russell... yeah, yeah, it's not looking great for the guy after someone recorded the scene in front of a flock of toddlers surrounding the slide that is meant for toddlers.
The next video shows Judy’s video, and it’s her donning a crown and cape while she is on stage, I'm guessing it’s for a performance at school, and doing another embarrassing performance in the spotlight aside from the whole tap dancing issue that was brought up at the start of the episode. But this one has her falling on stage in front of everyone. Not being careful about where she was going. And then you have Sandy...
Humanity’s cooked, y’all. Humanity is cooked. There’s nothing we can do... repent. Repent. The Rapture is coming. The Rapture is coming. Repent. And here I thought the moment in Bob’s Burgers with Tina imagining herself having a family with Bruce the Goose with human-goose hybrid abominations broke me... apparently, The Great North wants to one-up that with... this. Whatever the fuck this is. Skibidi fucking toilet. Of all the references that the writers had to bring in for this episode... Skibidi fucking toilet. It’s like you fuckers are begging to get the show canceled even though the network is doing that currently for you to put an end to whatever the fuck this is. How did this make it through the final cut? How the fuck did this make it through the airwaves? Who the fuck made that decision?! Whoever made that decision should not only be fired but also should be beaten up in the nearest parking lot.
Weebly, Blogger, WordPress, putting it out there, I don’t advocate for violence. This is all in GTA. Please don’t take this seriously, where this review might get hidden due to potential guideline issues, just for saying my thoughts on this scene. I really need the money, so I had to put this as a statement.
Golovkin takes the disc out of the DVD player that was broadcast across the school, ending the first act of the episode and going to the second half, the number of suspects behind everything takes an Olympic-worthy dive from a lot of people to only just nine who are present at the school. What Moon and Golovkin are saying is that everyone here is a suspect behind everything. Everyone, which should include Moon and Golovkin, and also McNamara and Dirt. That’s the end of the first half of the episode, and now going into the second half, the blame game is on for everyone now that they’re named as the suspects of this investigation. The reason why everyone is named as possible suspects is because of the timing of the delivery of the DVD because it was delivered after everyone present arrived at the school at 8:00. The door closes, revealing the writing on the door that reads “This is just the beginning” in red paint, treating it like a serial killer who wrote in the victim’s own blood. This puts everyone on edge, and of course, McNamara gets annoyed and wants everyone to go back to where they were doing.
Of course, Moon and Golovkin are going to ignore McNamara’s orders and continue the investigation to find who is responsible among the nine individuals in attendance. They have to drag Judy and Ham out of polishing duty to join the duo in the classroom to help them out in their investigation. Ham and Judy have their alibis in hopes of clearing their names, just like everyone in the building, after being named as suspects for whoever is pulling the stunt that cost them their snow day as if someone is taking shots at them like it’s the movie “I Know What You Did Last Summer”.
Ham got his alibi that he was baking cookies because Moon was the witness throughout last night, so those two are cleared. Golovkin tells his alibi that he was at his train club meeting and hoping for his fellow members to vouch for him, so he’s cleared. Judy tells her alibi by telling her brothers and Golovkin that she was on a Zoom call with Kima, Amelia, and the others, and yes, that includes Loud Sandy, who was unmuted and shouting throughout the night while having a private watch party of a reality show, so those two are cleared. Although, remember that screencap of that Zoom call on Judy’s phone because something tells me that might be brought up later on- spoilers, by the way. Then there’s Quinn, who has a busier schedule than the rest of them. She has flute lessons, art lessons, and has to take a time management skills class as if her timing game was off, like she’s Eberflus after that Lions game that got him fired. So, Quinn is cleared and that leaves us with Russell, McNamara, and Dirt as the likely suspects. The signs are likely pointing towards McNamara, with her being annoyed with all of this and knowing that she hates kids like how the kids hate her for being a terrible guidance counselor, not being on the video, and becoming drunk with power, that should be enough for the four to head out to go and question McNamara if she has something to do with it...
Only to be knocked out cold and wake up a few minutes later at the teacher’s lounge courtesy of Russell hitting him in the head enough to knock him out, but not strong enough to give him an ounce of CTE like with Wolf in the previous episode, thinking that he was a burglar. Yeah, like a burglar would ever go out in the middle of a snowstorm with near-blizzard conditions and perform the job with everything shut down and no one guarding it. Thinking that it’s free eats for them. Golovkin notices Russell wearing his swimsuit, and apparently, there’s a hot tub in the teacher’s lounge. Let me repeat that: there’s a literal hot tub in the teacher’s lounge. Hence, a brief scene shows steam coming out through the door. What the fuck is the school’s budget?! The TVs across the school are one thing that came with the rebuilding of the school that was never touched since the end of Season 3, presumably guessing that it got scraped due to the strikes, but the hot tub in the teacher’s lounge... the schoolboard, rather, the teachers and Gibbons pretty much lost the fucking plot. And I’m guessing Russell, Quinn, and Sandy knew that there was a hot tub hidden inside the lounge and wanted to give it a try. That could explain why Russell is wearing his swimsuit once Golovkin wakes up.
Everyone leaves, and Russell tags along on their way to see Ms. McNamara to interrogate her about the situation they’re investigating. And since they have Russell joining the group, they wasted no time questioning him if he had an alibi to clear his name from the narrowing list of suspects responsible. His alibi is that he went to a clam restaurant in Ted’s Folly called Gubba Bump, not Bubba Gump, because even though we hear brand names mentioned on the show that are not named TikTok, apparently the name Bubba Gump did not get a mention by the laws of television, but he was there with his mom Marie and her boyfriend Jaime. So that clears Russell’s name, and that leaves us with McNamara and Dirt. Or should I say just Dirt because Russell, when he was at the restaurant, saw McNamara there. Not as a customer but as a waitress, as her second job aside from being the school’s counselor, and even though we see that she’s not too keen on being around kids, saw a different side of her. Saying that she needed this as her second job, so she could pay off debt. So that clears both Russell and McNamara off the list; that only leaves Aunt Dirt. And Moon thinks that Dirt should fit the bill in what they’re looking for in their search for the suspect: adores chaos and hates everyone... well, unless you’re Gloria, who is the reason why Dirt had to put on the lunch lady uniform. Golovkin orders Judy, Ham, and Russell to get McNamara, Quinn, and Sandy to the cafeteria because it looks like they may have found their suspect.
We go back outside to see how the adults are doing, and as expected, they start to get drunk after drinking one too many sips of Wolf’s Wolfies while waiting for the storm to die down. Marie finished her turn, spilling her secret to everyone in the van by saying she was wanted in Albuquerque. Makes you question one thing about Marie’s claim, what the fuck she did do over there that got the Albuquerque Police Department’s attention and put a warrant on her so that she won’t ever land her foot back there? I mean, was it over money laundering? A hit-and-run? She had to do something that caused her to decide not to set foot in the city in New Mexico. But yeah, that’s enough from Marie, and we didn’t get any secrets from Wolf and Honeybee while we were busy with the investigation inside the school. So now, the pressure is on Beef to spill his secret. He tries to dodge the breakup secret by telling everyone about changing his HVAC filters, which pleases him, but that’s not going to stop everyone from wanting him to confess, and well... might as well give them what they want.
As of April 13, 2025, a year and six days since “Bear of Beeftown Adventure” premiered, Beef and Carissa are no longer a couple. Came out of freaking nowhere since the start of the episode when Wolf was the first to bring it up to Honeybee. Some of y’all think that this is pure denialism, and that it would not be a repeat of what happened with Ham and Crispin earlier this season. As I said earlier in the review, one of the questions ahead of this season would be whether or not this relationship will last. We got our answer in this week’s episode. And here’s the kicker on this one regarding the news with Beef hiding it from his family and Carissa telling Marie right away after calling things off, you’d think that Beef by now would be upset about it because he can be emotionally unstable because he can’t get through a heartbreak after Kathleen left him. That is what the Tobin family thought would happen after hearing the news, and they would have to get ready for what was about to come.
However, this time is different. He learned from what happened with Greta, you know, the talk with his heart and his dick in the clouds, how to handle a heartbreak. He knows how to move on without having to curl up in a fetal position. And the decision for his relationship with Carissa to be called off, whether that was him making the call or Carissa, probably the latter calling the shots, was a mutual breakup. No drama. No issues that led to the decision. It’s more of the line of coming to an understanding that even though they like being in each other’s lives, they can agree that their heart may not be in the right place, at least not yet, by the way, and hopefully, things don’t get awkward between the two. You know, they decided to stay friends because otherwise, the next mom’s meeting is going to be an awkward one. Like Thanksgiving dinner with a relative that you never talked to in years, after getting into bad terms type of awkward.
Sure, it was expected that this relationship wouldn’t last a season or two because this feels more like a trial run than the full thing; they do look like a good couple going through the last season, despite that Carissa wasn’t even in the running in the Beef love interest sweepstakes. But they had some good times together, even if it meant forgetting to lock the door during shared bath time and scarring their youngest child when walking in, and thought it was going to at least last the whole season, but instead, it feels like we used Carissa for plot purposes as a rebound for Beef when getting back to the relationship game. You know this almost reminded me when it comes to this.
The closest comparison that I can think of when it comes to a relationship that felt like a pipe dream and said to yourself, “Oh yeah... that happened”, would be Marco and Kelly from Star vs The Forces of Evil. And follow me here on what I have to say. In Season 3 of the series, you have the aforementioned two characters who were fresh out of a breakup at the time, Kelly with Tad and Marco with Jackie. Like Carissa, Kelly wasn’t even in the running even though their relationship in that season and going into the next went from a couple of friends who knew what it was like coming out of a relationship to “Oh... we’re actually doing this” when it comes to that going from one season to another. And that was when Marco, at the time, that everyone and their mother knew, that he liked Star but missed his shot when noticing that she and Tom were back together.
Things were getting close between Marco and Kelly after Marco helped Kelly to get Tad off of her back, rather, out of her hair, and things were clicking between the two for the rest of Season 3 and going into Season 4, even though Marco did kiss Star when being trapped inside the photo booth during Foolduke and Ruberiot’s wedding while all of that was happening, and I mean really close once we get to Season 4... up until the episode “A Boy and His DC-700XE” where that little would-be relationship got called off out of freaking nowhere and off-screen. Though, unlike Beef and Carissa with their breakup, Marco and Kelly’s, I guess, isn’t. Probably because of something Marco did, but it’s mostly because of how rushed Season 4 was, and yes, even though Starco was endgame from the start, it was rushed to get Star and Marco together right as the series was coming to an end. I could also say Henry and Susmita from Bob’s Burgers because that too, their relationship ended out of freaking nowhere in “Don’t Stop Be-cheesin’” and that was the most recent before this and also Ham and Crispin earlier this season.
But yeah, Beef and Carissa are no longer together, a mutual breakup, and hopefully on good terms between the two, and the Tobin adults, along with Marie and Edna, are proud of Beef for how he’s handling the breakup. So I guess that could explain why Zelda came back to Beef’s life a few episodes ago. All we know is that Beef has plenty of time before finding the right woman to be with, whether it’s back with Carissa or someone else, *cough* Alyson *cough*, but knowing that the show is pretty much in limbo over its future... who fucking knows. The Tobins, except for Wolf and Dirt, might as well be single for the rest of their lives. God forbid if they plan on having Wolf and Honeybee separate.
We head back to the cafeteria as we prepare to wrap up the third act of the episode with Moon and Golovkin walking up towards Dirt, who is busy making the banned soup on the stove, struggling to stir because of the “chunks”, for everyone to eat since it’s the only food source she can find and muster up. Moon and Golovkin question Dirt if she has something to do with everything since she’s the only one left on the list of possible suspects. She wasn’t in the video filled with people who had their embarrassing moments filmed. And the writing on the door, when it was closed, should serve as her as the suspect since they heard everyone’s alibis but hers. Dirt doesn’t believe that it’s her that Moon and Golovkin are accusing her of. Mostly because, for starters... she’s in her 70s-80s, and even know she knows how cameras work, she probably doesn’t know how modern cameras in today’s times would work, and probably thinks that it’s the Communists spying on us. That, and also Dirt, while making the food, hears something from the ceiling and asks the two to question the person who making all the noise from up there. And the person who is hiding in the ceiling as we close out the third act of the episode and go into the fourth and final act...
It’s Bethany. Bethany was hiding on the ceiling throughout the whole thing when all of this was taking place. She gets questioned by Moon and Golovkin as the wild card, even though her name, along with everyone absent, got thrown out after finding out that one of the nine people in attendance is being questioned as a suspect. And since everyone is cleared now that Dirt is off the list, the finger pointing is now towards Bethany, who made the call to bring everyone here. Telling her if she has an alibi, and it’s back to square one for Moon and Golovkin because they crossed everyone out of the list once she told them that she was in the school the whole week, but didn’t commit the crime other than running away from home because her mom wants her to attend a family dinner. Okay, something has to be up for Bethany to do something like that, as if either she did it because something is going on over at the Bupatutti residence, or she just did it because she probably thinks it’s too embarrassing to her liking, that should probably draw some concerns. And this isn’t the first time she has done that have her reside at the school. Take a look at “For Whom the Smell Tolls Part Two”. But Bethany did notice something odd during her time taking refuge at the school when she spotted a hooded figure in the hallway, and it was the sounds of someone’s feet walking through the halls that caught her attention for a bit when she spotted the mysterious figure at the dead of night. The sounds of tapping and scatting that plague the school throughout the night, and for Moon, he puts the pieces together, and it looks like we may have found our suspect.
Everyone arrived at the cafeteria per Moon’s request to hear the news of who the suspect is behind the botched rescinding of everyone’s snow day, well, everyone but Bethany, who decided to go back to her hiding place within the school building. Moon brought everyone in to tell the news of who the suspect is, and thanks to Bethany’s description of the mysterious figure, along with some clues that some of y’all picked up when watching the episode, and named one Judith Tobin as the suspect behind the crime. But wait a minute?
Judy had her alibi earlier in the episode. She was in a Zoom call with her friends watching a reality show. She can’t be at two places at once because that wouldn’t make sense for her to be at the school at night and be on the Zoom call at the same time, like she’s The Flash. There’s no way Judy would ever commit something as unhinged and reckless as pulling a stunt like this. Moon knows that. He saw the time stamp. Everyone was present in the call, including Sandy, who is present in the school, so that should be enough to take the bait and clear her name once more. That was until Moon noticed something that caught his eye, the word of the day calendar that Beef bought for the two in a two-for-one sale at the store. At the start of the episode, when the snow day was announced, Moon ripped the page of his word of the day calendar from “rescind”, which is defined as take back or cancel, to “jubilant”, which defines joy and celebration. The screengrab on Judy’s phone of the live call shows the word “globular”, which is defined as a sphere shape that has nothing to do with the investigation. And it was that moment that everyone realized that Judy’s alibi is nothing more than a damn lie. And it turns out, the Zoom she was in, or claims that she was in...
Her square in the video call is nothing more than a still image of her to trick everyone into thinking she’s on the call. Prerecorded herself to place everyone in a Genjutsu when committing the crime. This bitch pulled a VoteSaxon07 by having to do the two places in one stint and creating an alibi that she was there in the call, not letting everyone know that she was there at the school doing the crime. If you know, you know about that story when making that reference. Everyone is in shock that Judy, of all people, would ever commit the crime in robbing everyone of their snow day, and wants to know why she did it. What caused her to do something as horrendous as this? And wouldn’t you guess it...
It all ties back to the tap dancing incident. Remember at the start of the episode, when Judy brought up that she plans on retiring from the tap dancing lifestyle because she doesn’t feel like continuing? Even though Ham and Moon brought up the real reason when trying to contain their laughter that irked the fuck out of Judy? Most people these days, whenever there’s an embarrassing moment hoping for something else to take over so that what happened to you will all become a memory that needs to be locked up in a box, only to be locked up in a safe, and be transported to be dumped in an active volcano in Hawaii. Judy, on the other hand, doesn’t plan on waiting for any mentions of what happened to her over the incident to go away. Or to put it short and simple in Judy’s point of view...
And she took it personally to a tee. You could say that it feels a bit out of character for Judy to do something like this, because this almost feels like how a school shooter or a would-be school shooter would behave after being ridiculed by her peers and her siblings over what happened on stage. Something that should’ve been avoided, but it happened, and the damage has already been done. So here’s what happened, as told by Judy, this all started just a month ago when a special visitor, Terrence Twinkle-Toes, paid a visit to Lone Moose, and for Judy, she thinks that with his visit would be her window of opportunity to make an impression. That was before there were a few steps that led to her embarrassing night, and might as well explain why Judy picked the seven out of the nine people to ruin their snow day to enact her revenge. And yes, I said seven because even though Dirt makes eight, she’s not involved in this, even though she is a lunch lady and she was one of the lunch ladies who cooked up Russell’s preferred lunch.
Judy went after Golovkin for wanting to do some soft shoe, even though Golovkin stated that he was being sarcastic, so the blame sort of goes to Judy for not picking it up as a rejection of that offer, so his snow day is ruined. Next is Russell, who had a birthday, and because it was a school day when that happened, he made the call on what the cafeteria serves for lunch and chose chili and bean burritos, which, a combination of those two would be a total nightmare in the digestive system. Treating the digestive system like it’s a nuclear weapon testing site with those two. And mind you that one of the lunch ladies did give Russell, which explains Dirt is there, but I doubt that Dirt was the one who Russell told to make the suggestion and shouldn’t be in the building but because of that robocall Judy compiled that got the her and her brothers’ snow day getting canceled, she didn’t expect Dirt to come with them. Not like she wants everyone to starve in the middle of a snowstorm because that would be a bridge too far. Which explains Dirt saying to Judy why she was brought in, only for Judy to say that she’s “collateral damage”. Taking it as a badge of honor rather than an insult. But Golovkin and Russell were just the start.
Moon is next on the docket on Judy’s hit list because of the shoes he gave her to use for her performance from a discount store, hence, the video of him and Ham dancing around playing dress up, but the problem with the shoes is that they were slippery. And to make things worse for her, when putting on the shoes, the floor gets buffed, thanks in part to Quinn, when having to serve her junior janitor duty at the gym where the performance is. All of this became ingredients to what is about to come, and once the performance arrives, dragging Sandy and Ham into the conversation since they’re at the performance, the sight of where Judy’s villain arc originates, because once the performance begins, her digestive system reacts to the combination of the chili and burritos turns into a ticking time bomb once the spotlight shines over her.
The farting and the belching while dancing front of everyone was bad enough for Judy to do it after getting hit with misfortune after misfortune in what was supposed to be her biggest day yet, only to be ruined by the one night that makes her the butt of the joke in the school. Where do Ham and Sandy fit into this, since they were dragged into her hit list? Ham was in charge of the audio, and Judy, hoping to avoid embarrassment, was hoping for him to raise the music volume to cancel out the farting and belching through the mic, but instead, he accidentally turned the mic up, causing the sounds of Judy farting and burping to echo across the room. So, that’s Ham in a nutshell for Judy to drag him into her hit list. And then, there’s Sandy, we already know that she doesn’t have an inside voice, so she's the first to laugh and get everyone involved. Everyone, that includes the man of honor himself. And it’s that embarrassing moment, which I have to put it out there, it’s not the fucking deep. I repeat, it’s... not... that... effing... deep. This isn’t like Tina when she almost destroyed school property with a hammer after getting mocked for the shirt that she bought with her babysitting money.
She planned that shit for weeks for when she enacts her revenge. Again, feels like the type of behavior you would get from a would-be school shooter, minus the weapons, and also out of character for Judy to do something like this. Sure, she probably got it from Kathleen because that does feel like something Kathleen would do, and retaliate by embarrassing them, but still. This feels a bit out of character for Judy to wait a month for when she plans to get back at the people who wronged them, waiting for when a snowstorm is going to strike by watch The Weather Channel, and once the forecast calls for heavy snow and the phone sends an emergency alert and placing Lone Moose in a Winter Storm Warning, is when she goes for the kill. Even though it took her weeks that you’d think that she should’ve forgotten about the whole thing by now. But nope, she was committed. She wasn’t going to let it fly by, even if people stopped talking about it by then, because it had been over a month, and should be focusing on other things.
So, that’s six of the seven that Judy put on her hit list, consisting of Ham, Moon, Golovkin, Russell, Quinn, and Sandy, and ruin their snow day and ruin her own just so she can get her getback. But that doesn’t explain McNamara and why Judy shoehorned her into the mix. Judy’s reason to have McNamara in the mix? Because fuck them, that’s why. She brought McNamara to be in charge of the school for the day just so she could make everyone miserable and her to play the role so that she wouldn’t draw suspicion from anyone. So, with the explanation out of the way, and revealed her evil plans in front of everyone, having to ruin everyone’s snow day, and again, it’s... not... that... freaking... deep. What are we doing? Something coming out of Class of '09 type of motivation. Girl thinks that she’s Light Yagami and would get away with it. Judy prepares her final act of her evil plan by performing her act with no interruption so she can get her revenge... only for her digestive system to act up and embarrass her in front of the masses. And thus, her plan has been foiled and everyone gets their snow day back... or what’s left of it since they wasted their morning being trapped inside. All we know that Judy is likely going to get punished just for pulling a stunt like that once everyone gets home.
Well, unless you’re the Tobin kids and Dirt who need to get someone to take the wheel, that being Ham, because Beef, Wolf, and Honeybee are extremely drunk to drive them now that the snowstorm is over with Judy’s plan falling into pieces and failing before finishing her plot. At least with Drunk Beef this time, he won’t be going wild in his “Dare Bear” state like we saw last season. Other than that, everyone goes home for the day now that the snow is cleared up, and before heading off to Henry’s house, where the snowball fight will be held, Moon tells Golovkin that it was an honor working alongside him to solve the case, with Golovkin telling Moon to give a couple of first graders, the Snowball Boyz, to show them who’s boss once he (Moon) and Russell arrive at the Tuntley household. And speaking of the Tuntley household...
Going into the final scene of the episode, Moon and Russell arrive at the house with Henry having to do the fort that Moon made all by himself. Asking the two where the hell they have been, with Moon telling Henry that it’s a long story to explain about them missing half a snow day due to Judy’s actions that made her the joke of the school. Of course, that will have to wait because the Snowball Boyz decide to go on the attack, and the same goes for Moon’s group. And yeah, the moral of the story... Judy, it’s not that fucking deep, girl. It’s not that fucking deep over what happened on the stage. Pretty sure all of this would’ve been avoided if you were not being careful with everything that led to you becoming a laughingstock.
Reaction/Thoughts:
So, all and all, what do I think about this week’s episode of The Great North? This was an alright episode, though predictable to most when figuring out who the suspect is behind the notion of robbing everyone of their snow day. But it was an alright episode regardless, mostly stemming from the dynamic between Moon and Golovkin.
I like the team-up between the two since “Arranger-ous Minds Adventure” and their shared interest in old school mystery movies was being put to the test when investigating who the sick fuck behind robbing a selective few their snow days that they all waited for the announcement on the news. Do hope we do get another one like these if the show gets renewed, but it was an interesting team-up with the two playing detective and go on the case because if there’s something everyone should know, especially if you grew up back in the day, you don’t fuck with a snow day. But it’s a nice little dynamic between student and teacher, and treating it as if it’s a mystery film from the 1940s. Though if the whole thing was in black and white and the subplot stayed in full color, then I guess it should’ve been treated like an old school mystery film.
It was blatantly obvious that Judy committed the crime. Most of the people who saw the episode when it first came out knew that it was her by looking at the clues that were being dropped, like it’s a Scooby-Doo or Blue's Clues mystery. Whether it’s Bethany mentioning the sounds of tapping and scatting to the word of the day calendar on the photo that was used in the Zoom call, Judy did almost got away with it with the way she was doing. Just, you know, the script has to have her getting her comeuppance with her digestive system mysteriously acting up when attempting to finish her tap dancing performance. Probably caused by the soup that Dirt made. And while, yes, this was pretty much summing up what the Judy villain origin story looked like after being ridiculed after her performance, this feels out of character for Judy to do just an act. From compiling audio to create a fake robocall that makes it sound like it’s actually Gibbons making the call to cancel everyone’s snow day, to making a compilation of everyone’s embarrassing moments on film (except for McNamara and Dirt), you’d think that this doesn’t sound like what someone like Judy would ever do that. But our mentals, man... it works in mysterious ways and could lead you to a dark path. Also... for the love of God, whoever thought it was a good idea to bring Skibidi toilet to the show for Sandy’s tape... yeah, that person should be investigated.
The subplot was okay since it’s just the adults being drunk when being trapped inside the van during the snowstorm. Though, the announcement of Beef and Carissa ending their relationship came out of nowhere, but was expected by most not to last a season because that was the big question going into this season, since the two hooked up just a year ago. But at least it’s good that Beef knows how to handle a heartbreak this time around, since both he and Carissa came to an understanding, and hopefully on good terms too, going forward. Being mature about all of this and knowing that the family had been worried about his state since the relationship was called off, but he did learn his lesson from what happened with Greta, so there’s that. And that’s good for Beef to take it like a champ. Sucks that we wont get any more of this relationship but we all sort of knew that this wasn’t going to last. For plot purposes. Other than that, it’s an alright episode. So I’ll give “Dial M for Moon-der Adventure”...
A 7 out of 10. But that’s my opinion, and I wanna hear yours in the comments below. There’s no new episode this upcoming Sunday because that’s Easter. But we do we have an episode coming up on April 27 and if you’re a Ham fan who are still in denial over the breakup just over a month ago between him and Crispin... boy, I got news for y’all with Beef and Judy planning on intervening with Ham’s personal life in the tenth episode of Season 5 of The Great North in “Ham to Lose a Guy Adventure”.
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