Spoopy month is finally here, folks. The first official month of the brand new season of Bob’s Burgers and apparently, looking at the schedule, Halloween decided to come early next week. Yeah, I thought that it would be more of later in the month before entering the week break for Halloween because of the World Series. But apparently, we don’t know. I guess it’s because if you look at the NFL schedule, there’s the national game on FOX, dubbed “America’s Game of the Week”, next week leading up to the Halloween episode and they need those ratings. So I guess that’s one way to put it. But hey, if I were to do a Halloween episode ranking, that could possibly help. Would I do it? I don’t know...give this tweet of the link to this very article about 200 likes and I’ll do it.
In this week’s episode of Bob’s Burgers, in order to deal with the stress and anxiety for a very important class project, Tina scores herself a healing crystal that Mr. Frond gives to her and thinks that it would aid her at her time of need as Bob and Linda try to run the clock with the box of produce that they got before they spoil rotten in my spoilerific review of the second episode of the twelfth season of Bob’s Burgers, titled “Crystal Mess”.
So last week’s episode mostly focuses on mental health, physical appearance, and gender norms regarding the pixie promenade and Linda not letting go of a bouquet shaped like a dead dog, this week, we talking about mental health...kinda, with anxiety courtesy of Tina. I mean...to be fair, don’t we all felt like massive wrecks when it comes to speaking to the public. And that’s not the post-pandemic world talking. We all had been through that, even if you’re not an introvert like yours truly, you could still experience some stage fright from here to there. Whether for a school project, filming something in front of the camera, anything really. And normally when it comes to deal with anxiety and stage fright, you need to think of something to combat it. Whether imagining the audience in their underwear, though nowadays...yeah, that could possibly could lead to some problems in this current climate. Imagine the audience not being there like if Thanos were to use the infinity gauntlet and snap everyone in the room but you. Or maybe a good luck charm.
And that pretty much sums up Tina’s little predicament when she has to deal with a class project for the school’s anniversary of opening the doors and with Zeke as the partner. And it’s not because of Zeke having a partner, but it’s more of her not doing the idea of presenting in front of an audience...which is surprising because if you look at episodes past, you saw her on stage like there’s no problem whether being in Courtney’s musical in Season 5 or her Thanksgiving musical in Season 7. Though then again, take a look at what happened in Season 1 when her stage fright was mentioned leading up to Linda opening up a dinner theater at the restaurant. This episode decided to take that route with her having stage fright to the point where Frond has to come in and gives her an item to help her deal with her anxiety. Hopefully not turning into a situation like with Rick and Morty and turn it into an Akira reference. As for the subplot...do I have to say it? Let’s pretend nothing happened, alright? No? Alright, might as well later on...or just scroll down since this isn’t YouTube. So let’s look at our reflection and going crystal mining with this episode, this is “Crystal Mess”.
And yep, not even the first full minute into the episode, and already Tina is groaning by the breakfast table in front of the Belchers. Which is pretty much how everyone would feel on a Monday morning when preparing to go to work. But this groan is out of anxiety as she told the Belcher family that he has to do an oral report for the school for the Wagstaff 75th anniversary event. Yeah, 75 years of the school opened to the town. Since the 1940s, either before, during, maybe after World War II is when Wagstaff open its door. Been through various upgrades to stay up the code when it comes to infrastructure through various bonds with Wagstaff and other schools across the country...unless your names are Joe Manchin or Kyrsten Sinema and think to themselves that things are currently fine, even though everything is currently going to shit.
Tina feels anxious about the whole oral report fiasco for the big event for Wagstaff because it’s pretty much her making a public speech and she can easily get stage fright. Again, going back to the intro, going with the Season 1 route where her stage fright was mentioned leading up to the opening night of Linda’s dinner theater at the restaurant. She always gets stage fright ever since she was little. Ever since she was a baby. Even though in between that season and this season, you have her doing just fine when it comes to being in front of the public. Whether if it’s performing with Gene in front of everyone at the science fair. Or performing in Gene and Courtney’s combined musical in Season 5. Or have her friend fiction coming to life with her playing the lead in Season 7. Or in that exact same season where she joined the debate club. I mean, it can’t be a continuity error or a mistake at the writer or showrunner’s behest. It might as well boils down to the notion of knowing the rules of sitcoms, don’t apply logic. Just don’t question it.
And of course, it makes her situation even worse for Tina since she has to do it with a partner and it’s Zeke. And before y’all say anything, no. This has nothing to do with Zeke being Tina’s partner. Mostly because she wants to be with Jimmy Jr, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That ain’t it, chief. That ain’t sure. Sure, Tina and Zeke have some “interesting” history, mostly on Tina not liking Zeke because he’s standing in the way from Jimmy Jr. Irks the fuck out of her. Though nowadays, it’s kinda there, it’s just they’re starting to get into friendly terms. Mostly coming from the angle of “who saves who” whether if it’s Zeke helping Tina coming up with a good news story with him coming out as the “mad pooper” or Tina helping Zeke in taking the whaler mascot after finding out that he wasn’t lying about his grandmother going into surgery. It’s not a Zeke problem coming from Tina. But it’s mostly because she was paired up with a partner and well...she doesn’t want to embarrass herself in front of Zeke, in front of everyone when doing the report because it side effects for stage fright coming from Tina includes sweaty pits and dry throat like you’re about to spit out mucus. Yeah, a little TMI there when mentioning some body issues when dealing with stage fright there, T.
We transition to Wagstaff where it’s game day for the eighth graders as they’re prepared for their presentations with Tammy and Jocelyn already prepared for their oral reports by wearing a lot of clothes to represent each passing decade based on style, which is surprising from them because they’re wearing a lot of fabric without breaking a sweat. Can’t tell which season the show is based in. Knowing that the trees are green, and the kiddos are still in school, I’m guessing Spring might be the best option to state which season the show is in. But other than that, Tammy and Jocelyn got their shit prepared as for Tina and Zeke, of course, it’s mostly on Tina being a nervous wreck with Zeke being supportive throughout the whole thing and also all prepared for the big day. But Tina doesn’t want to fuck this up. She knows that once she and Zeke take the stage for their presentation is when Tina is going to become a nervous wreck, sweaty pits, and all like you might as well play Lose Yourself by Eminem in the background. About to have some mom’s spaghetti. Won’t be long until she ends up vomiting during class.
That nervousness coming from Tina that now you can’t tell if Tina is having an anxiety attack has the attention from Mr. Frond, who took her to her office and have three dolls on his deck to detail her problems leading up to her group oral report...pause...with Tina stating her issues with her anxiety, only to be interrupted by Frond, who gets a text from someone named Cassie, who Frond’s been seeing for a while now. Telling the viewer to remind them that he and Gayle are no longer a thing like a sticky note attached to the mirror with Tina switching over from being a nervous wreck to relationship expert in helping Frond out in texting with Cassie and not focusing on her issues regarding her anxiety for the upcoming report. Way to be responsible there, Frond. You fucking hack. Anyway, Frond decided to help Tina out by giving her something to deal with her anxiety in a form of a healing crystal. Yep, a healing crystal where it deals with all issues that a person is going through, most importantly with anxiety, and of course, Frond’s girlfriend was the one who gave him the crystal that he stored inside his desk that he now decides to hand it over to Tina as rent once the assembly and the celebration come to a close. So we have a nervous Tina for the celebration, a piece of crystal that Frond decided to give to her as a rental, and an oral report that makes her a nervous wreck to the point where she’s spewing out so much body odor like it’s a gas leak that just somehow popped out. Knowing that this is a Tina episode...might as well pull this little gem out, no pun intended...cue the music!
If we were to do that and that would’ve been magical but because this isn’t YouTube and if I were to do that, then this would be taken down in an instant and editing would be a massive pain. So this is what you’re getting. So the big moment arrives as we transition from the office to the classroom with Tammy and Jocelyn already finishing up with their oral reports leading up to modern-day fashion as Ms. Jacobson, now voiced by Ashley Nicole Black, no longer voiced by Melissa Galsky, who held on to the role for almost a decade, as she called up both Tina and Zeke to present their oral report with Tina already building up the anxiety levels more than floodwaters ready to breach the levees.
Or though we thought that Tina was building up anxiety because apparently, Tina’s anxiety decided to take the backseat when she and Zeke present their oral report without any armpit sweat. Without any throat trouble. It’s like all those fears that she said at the start of the episode are probably all talk regarding her being on stage in front of people, even if it’s a short group like a classroom. Either that or it’s probably the crystal that did all the work for Tina to put the anxiety levels to a minimum that leads to her and Zeke having a really good time, calm your tits Zina shippers on how that sentence goes and even got some pointers for their school project that it even earns them a spot to speak at the event later in the episode by Jacobson. And you can all thank the almighty crystal that she’s been carrying from Frond that has now gotten the attention from Zeke and Jimmy Jr, who thinks that because Tina got some good luck with the crystal that maybe they could get it to if they’re around her. Don’t think that’s how it works when it comes to getting some good luck. Surely, that’s mostly based on one person and one person only to feel lucky. And even Tina agrees that how all of this good luck that she’s now slowly gaining due to having the crystal from Frond doesn’t solely work on other people than herself...
Only to hear the voice from the crystal in her imagination that maybe she should when ready to go for a practice run for the big day of the assembly with Zeke with their presentation and trying to woo the crowd. And she did follow what the crystal says. And hopefully, this doesn’t turn into a Rick and Morty situation regarding Tina and the crystal if anyone remembers that episode with Morty taking a death crystal and has both sides with one side being his demise and the other with him growing old with Jessica and he takes that second option where he ended up becoming a threat to the world to the point where that episode was straight up parodying the movie Akira. Luckily it didn’t go that route but instead...
Going through the dinner table and into the next day at school with Tina, along with Gene and Louise, coming across with Zeke and Jimmy Jr with Zeke trying to break a record in holding a pencil by the upper lip without letting it slip, in which he did break the record. Someone alert the folks over at Guinness World Records, we got one! With Zeke all hopped up and ready to go and practice with Tina for the upcoming presentation for the assembly with Tina having the crystal around in the palm of her hands, it wasn’t long enough for Louise to step in and sensed that because Tina garnered that good luck with her anxiety being locked up in a cage with both Zeke and Jimmy Jr thinking that if she can get good luck with the item in hand, then maybe if they come close to her, then they’ll get good luck...well, we know where this is going in the next scene.
Where you have Louise and Gene, who has Peter Pescadero with them, coming towards Tina and because of what happened with her dealing with the anxiety and treating the crystal as a freaking good luck charm, she thinks to herself that maybe if the good luck with the crystal works with Tina, then maybe being around her would suck in all of that energy into the person who is having some issues. So with Peter being with Tina at the behest of Louise and Gene as a fucking test subject, it’s time to state the problem. With Tina having the crystal, her issue is anxiety. With Jimmy Jr, it’s hoping to jump through hurdles without hitting his J-Jus while running, though looking at the credits, he ran normally. Like we’re talking pre-Gene Mile running. I guess they finally listened to the complaints and decided to fix that. With Zeke, it’s him struggling to break a record in holding a pencil on his upper lip. So that leaves Peter and soon the others who need the power of crystals and thinks that Tina is somehow the second coming of Christ and his problem that is soon fixed by the item. That problem? Learning how to breakdance. Most importantly, the windmill. He had some issues when trying to perform, but thanks to Tina and the crystal, he got it all under control. But why stop there? We got others to properly misuse the powers of a piece of rock into the next person.
Which is Rudy, who was hoping for Chloe to be his science partner for class...much a grin to Louise, who is probably against the idea of that she’s not the brightest, also a bitch, but that’s not going to stop Rudy from asking Chloe to accept the invitation in being science partners as long as Tina hangs on to the crystal. In which, Chloe agrees to Rudy’s request, and it looks like Rudy is good to go...unless you’re Louise who had to go along with all of this. Even if it’s for a day or two for their science class. But other than that...yeah, this is to the point where you could possibly label this episode as a ship teasing episode because my god, the writers probably had nothing better to do and decided to mess around for a bit with the shipping aspect from the kids. Tina and Zeke is one of them being paired into partners. Sure, there’s no romantic interaction between them in this episode, it’s mostly Tina being a nervous wreck and Zeke being the one who got things under control. Fuck, it's even to the point where he’s fine with Tina being a sweaty mess in the end.
Louise on the other hand, who uses Tina’s crystal as a way for her to make a profit out of the students and teachers at the school when Rudy came to her and her siblings to ask Chloe to be his science fair partner had to help the guy out by using Tina. Of course, trying to make sure she’s not revealing a tad bit of jealousy building in her body. I mean, let’s not forget that all of this, Louise’s mutual hatred towards Chloe and whenever Rudy either is by her or mentions her, points back to what happened in “Bob Actually” with Louise thinking that Rudy has a crush on her when noticing the card that he’s carrying and the weeds that he bought from Zeke and try to her hardest to make sure that Rudy that he gets the message that she only wants to be friends...only to find out that the card and weed are not for her, but it’s for Chloe. Relieved at first, only to be saddened over the revelation. Handed over the card and weed to Chloe at the behest of Rudy, and then later finds out that Chloe is nothing more than a quiz-digging bitch who used Rudy to get that sweet, sweet quiz answers. Stands up for Rudy and tells him in the playground that she (Chloe) doesn’t want to be his Valentine, which upsets Rudy, and of course, the magical moment of the kiss that reshaped their friendship.
Not to mention some moments where Louise becomes somewhat shown some signs of jealousy whether being Chloe patting on Rudy’s head when he got the broken arm, though that’s mostly on Louise not wanting to be one-upped when trying to promote movie night when Kojima paid a visit to town. Or with last season when Rudy attended a pool party at Chloe’s place, and you have that expression from Louise like she is really trying to hide her jealousy. And now, here we are with this episode. I feel like if...you know those fan arts, don’t know if y’all haven’t even seen it, where you have the characters as actors and perform their lines and stuff. You know, that behind-the-scenes art? Imagine that with Louise reading a script to the episode and this moment pops up. This would pretty much be her reaction to this.
February 12 of 2022 will mark five years, half a decade since the kiss between Louise and Rudy. Five years. This needs to be addressed. This really needed to be addressed. And by that, I mean there’s need to be a follow-up and not in a half-assed attempt like with “An Incon-wheelie-ent Truth” last season. No. This needs a follow-up. No fuck ups whatsoever. Either one of the two, being Louise or Rudy, slipped about the kiss or have someone find out about the whole experience. My money’s on Tina because let’s face it, she’s not dumb in the romance department. She knows Louise well. She broke through when she bought the “Boo Crew” shirts and thinks that it was all for Tina, but in reality, it’s mostly because of Louise’s crush on Boo Boo. And she’ll put two and two together and find out that her sister and his friend kissed on Valentine’s Day. Somewhat reminiscing to “Wing It Like Witches” from The Owl House where Amity shows signs of her crushing on Luz and the first person, coming from the fans, who put two and two together and see what’s going on. That person, Willow. I’d expect Tina would be like Willow and at least try to be the first one to put two and two together with Louise and Rudy...and also how to stand up to bullies.
Of course, the students have most of the fun with Tina and her magical powers from the crystal of bullshit, so why not the teachers? Enter Ms. LaBonz, who is trying to earn some earnings through online poker and had some hard time trying to at least earn some money, or I dunno...win a game or something. I mean, the lottery is a thing, right? Could’ve done that. But other than that, LaBonz scored some dubs through a game on online poker, depends on how much money she just gambled away, regardless that thanks to Tina, LaBonz scored some bucks. And same for Louise and Gene since they were around Tina the entire fucking time in the second act with Louise getting a lot of money from using Tina and Gene having a huge stack of mac and cheese enough to feed around 5-8 crew members in a submarine. So apparently, coming from Tina, Louise, Gene, Jimmy Jr, Zeke, LaBonz, Rudy, and Peter, it looks like the crystal that Tina was carrying pretty much helped them to get through the hurdles known as life. And then the bike decided to fucking fall apart halfway through the trail.
We get to Frond who come up to the Belcher kids with him telling Tina some updates regarding the Cassie situation with him saying that the date is a go for him thanks to Tina and also the crystal since it was her crystal, who handed it over to Frond, who then hand it over to Tina as a rental. And asks Tina to hand it over back to him once she’s done with the presentation. But we’re just getting started here, folks. Because just as Frond is talking to Tina regarding the crystal...
You have Jocelyn who tripped in front of Frond and the Belcher kids and has everyone in the lunchroom stopped what they’re doing with Frond picking Jocelyn up from the floor and heading on out. But look what’s missing from the table when Jocelyn tripped by herself? That’s right, the crystal. The crystal is missing from Tina’s eyes. From Frond’s eyes. From anyone’s eyes really. Though to be fair, Tina did leave it in the open, which is mistake numero uno coming from her. But regardless, Tina felt responsible for letting the crystal get swept away from the lunch table like a purse by the chair when eating out at a restaurant. Especially as we are slowly reopening, so be on the lookout, folks. So the crystal is missing from Tina’s hands and now she, along with Gene and Louise, must find who’s the asshole responsible to steal the item away from Tin-
It’s Tammy. Yep, it was Tammy who stole the crystal from Tina. Didn’t even bother doing the montage other than them going through Peter, Rudy, LaBonz, and Jimmy Jr, that’s another ship tease folks with Tina doing a strip search on the guy in search for the crystal, almost touched the butt. But it’s Tammy who ended up taking the crystal. Why? Because one, fuck you. Two, you remember that good luck spree coming from the crystal with Tina easing her anxiety which leads to her siblings using it as a marketing tool? Seeing the others having that good luck? Yeah, Tammy wants that. And if you think that it would’ve at least been easier to least be a few feet in Tina’s circumference to gain it much like with the others, Jocelyn also would’ve stepped in as well? Nope. Just take it without anyone noticing it and have Jocelyn serve as a distraction. Using the crystal to help her get the attention of one of the guests attending the school, Mary Queen of Skorts, and be discovered and going into the world of fashion. And as an added bonus, seeing Tina embarrassing herself with her anxiety returning in front of everyone. This leads to the third item on the list...it’s pretty much the show telling us to go fuck ourselves. The point is that Tammy is a horrible person who pretty much only doing this just to fuck around with Tina.
Of course, that doesn’t stop the Belcher kids to get the crystal back by breaking into Tammy’s locker to get retrieve it, make a break for it, and holds on to it, hopefully in the pocket or bra (don’t quote me on this) as safekeeping, and eat clock until the assembly is over with before Tammy ever finds out. Oh boy, that wasn’t long until Tammy finds out about all of this and accuses Tina of stealing the item, even though she was the one who took it first. Causing the two girls to fight it out, almost feels like something coming out from “The Runway Club” where those two had to fight over the jelly bracelets that landed them, along with Louise, Gene, Jocelyn, Zeke, and Jimmy Jr to Saturday detention, but rather than landing them into detention, they end up breaking it. Resulting in the two girls now having no crystal powers with Tina’s anxiety now coming out from its cage and for Frond...yeah, he ain’t getting past tier two of the stairs of a romantic relationship...I’m saying he ain’t getting laid. All because of a broken crystal.
And now, the hour of reckoning has arrived for the kids to present their presentation in front of not just the students and teachers sitting in attendance, but you also have the former students also sitting in the peanut gallery, the alumni of Wagstaff, with Tina’s anxiety decided to bite her right in the ass with her pit sweat decided to make a return at the wrong possible time, just as she and Zeke are prepared for their presentation now that Tina no longer has the crystal thanks to Tammy (and also her) shattering the gem into pieces. And...I think we all know where this is heading in one of the most predictable outcomes that I’ve ever seen in a while.
You have Zeke and Tina presenting their speech for the anniversary. In front of the students, teachers, and a few alumni in attendance and with no crystal in company, Tina is pretty much screwed. You could say that she’s choking like she’s Eminem’s character in the movie “8 Mile”. You know how the lyrics go from the song “Lose Yourself”, minus her vomiting, which could be a possibility. Not out of the table. But nope, she instead tells the audience that she doesn’t need the crystal to get through her stage fright and that it’s okay to be a nervous wreck despite not having any time to ask any of the alumni some questions and have her time on stage to be wrapped up. And not gonna lie here man, the third act pretty much downplayed the episode. This episode had some potential but when reading over the press release to the episode, as well as the images, I already know how this episode would end and it did. Not saying that it’s a bad episode. There are some decent moments, but I’ll get to that once we get to the reaction/thoughts section of the review.
Tina survives the assembly as she headed out for a bit to get some water after suffering through her anxiety, of course, you have Tammy getting some karma for stealing the crystal by having the woman of the hour to take an important phone call and head out just as she and Jocelyn were about to do their presentation, with Frond coming across with Tina and said that he’s proud of her for what happened regarding what happened despite the awkwardness before going off-script and reveals that Tina’s little speech back there motivated Frond to at least tell Cassie about what happened with the crystal, in which she replies to him that crystals don’t usually break, but rather it’s mostly due to the energy spreading out like it already done its work. Which almost feels like a kick in the balls regarding what we all have been through, don’t you think? I mean, it hurts...but it’s not Seattle Mariners kicking their fans in the balls when failing to make the playoffs style of pain. Thus, ending the main plot portion of the episode with the Belcher kids heading out to get some frozen yogurt in celebration of what Tina did during that assembly. Finally got through a car ride that was going somewhat smoothly, despite some bumps but in the minor variety, only to have the engine experience some issues halfway through. Let’s see how the subplot stacked up in this episode.
And apparently, nothing much to the point where I may have to bull rush with a simple premise to what’s in store for Bob and Linda while Tina is experiencing anxiety levels so high that the national guard had to step in where you have Bob coming in with a box filled with produce that uh...seems rather unusual to say the least when picking his vegetables for the restaurant. In which he got it for a discount, though looking at the box of produce where each vegetable looks like something coming out from Chernobyl than a normal farm, you can’t tell if the produce that Bob got isn’t even from the farmer’s market. This feels like something coming out from the fucking 99 Cent Store. So with the produce looking odd in shape and texture and apparently, showing no love from Teddy when it comes to the items in question, Bob and Linda are now stuck in a pickle and don’t know what to do with the produce. They would throw it away, but that would be a waste of food and food waste has been a very serious issue. Let’s not forget that there is some famine crisis going around the world. Not to mention, a waste of money that Bob spend on the box, only to be thrown out.
This leads to the dinner table with Bob and Linda serving the kids and themselves a plate of vegetables from the produce box to the point where they tried to go vegetarian for the night while Tina talks to the family talking about the crystal granting her magical powers of good luck when putting away the anxiety. Which is surprising on how in the ever-living fuck that they didn’t even get food poisoning either throughout the entire night or the very next day. At least they handled the produce with care despite the odd shape and texture, along with the produce ready to rot. Even Linda was considering giving the oddly shaped apples to the school in hopes to get rid of the items. So if anything bad is happening if they were to take it, well they would do everyone a favor and throw it into the trash.
As for the restaurant the next day, yeah...it’s not looking too good with Linda trying to give a customer who was heading out a parting gift in a form of a deformed cucumber...or I think that’s a cucumber. Last I checked, cucumbers aren’t supposed to look like a penis and if this were a YouTube video, I’d be demonetized. So the parting gift idea didn’t work and even putting it into the food doesn’t work as well when Teddy refused to eat the burger that has the dollar store produce attached to it, but Mort, on the other hand, doesn’t mind. Which leads to him giving both Bob and Linda some ideas on what to do with the semi-rotting produce without throwing them away. That idea? Turn it into pickled foods. Which Bob and Linda have to go with his idea and decided to go ahead with it. I mean, how bad can it be? This is Mort’s idea. He came in clutch last week with the whole Bottle Cap situation in getting Linda out of her comfort zone. So...they can’t fuck this up, right?
Well...the writers love to prove us wrong as we transition to Bob and Linda making the pickled foods and the smell is really not making things easier for Bob and Linda when entering the pickled food side business when it comes to adding vinegar to the sliced semi-rotting produce that you can’t tell what’s smell worse? This or kimchi? The real answer is durian. It’s always durian. And it’s to the point where they now regret getting the produce earlier in the episode and now they’re back to square one on unknown what to do with the produce that they now chopped into pieces and put in jars. Oh jeez, I wonder if Bob and Linda need some good luck charm...maybe have a certain daughter of theirs who has been carrying around a piece of rock that somehow gave everyone some good luck to not attend school and at least be there for moral support. I’m just saying.
Of course, there’s pretty much nothing more to say about this subplot at the end of the episode, and let’s face it, this was pretty much a waste of time coming from this episode regarding the side story. And it’s only week two of the new season. Only week two! And this is how it goes, the adults got a box of produce that is somewhat unnatural and slowly starting to rot, tried to find various ways to get rid of it without wasting either food or money by going vegetarian for the night. That didn’t work. Tried to give it as a parting gift for each customer, that didn’t work. Go into the pickled food business...went on to do it, only to see it crash and burn. And it’s to the result that Bob and Linda have no other choice but to say, “fuck it” and get rid of the produce and pickled food. And thus, we end the subplot by just throwing the food away after countless attempts to get rid of the produce. What the fuck was that?! Like I knew that the subplot was going to downplay the episode, but man...it’s bad. The subplot was bad. A massive waste of time no less. So uh...yeah...don’t know what to say about this.
Reaction/Thoughts:
So all and all, what do I think about this week’s episode of Bob’s Burgers? I wouldn’t hit the panic button just yet. This is only week two of the new season. Don’t even think about hitting the panic button. I mean, if there’s a way to sum up what I think about this episode, it had some potential and even if it does, there’s going to be some problems to downplay it. And maybe in a big way, whether being the third act of the main plot or the entirety of the subplot.
While the episode did not perform well, I do enjoy some moments from the episode. Mostly coming from the main plot with the crystal thing and have people think that because Tina getting the crystal from Frond and thinks that it grants them magical powers of luck, whether being Peter learning how to do the windmill while breakdancing, Rudy asking Chloe to be his science partner, and LaBonz winning online poker, just to name a few. At least Zeke was supportive before, during, and after the presentation when being paired up with Tina. And I get that the Tina/Zeke shippers would see that as a ship tease, which is pretty much what this episode is, a fucking ship tease beside the Rudy thing with Chloe and a semi-jealous Louise, as well as Tina doing a strip search on Jimmy Jr when searching for the crystal. So at least we got some dynamic in play between both Tina and Zeke and let’s face it, out of the four people in the group that Tina knows, Zeke is the good one. Just saying. He’s one of the good ones.
But other than that, this episode had some potential. It had it. It fucking had potential but once we get to the third act of the episode, finding out that Tammy took the crystal is where the wheels on the bike decided to fall apart halfway through the trail. I mean come on...
If you pause the moment Jocelyn stands up after tripping herself, go frame-by-frame, you have Tammy leaving the area while the other students in the background are watching the whole thing with Jocelyn. Hence, Tammy took the crystal, thus shooting the episode in the foot, and continues doing that we went get to the third act. It was so predictable that everyone and their mother knows that Tammy would be the one who took the damn item. Fuck, the moment we get to the hour of judgment with the assembly is when we all know where this is going. And that is the idea of Tina not needing the crystal after all, despite being a nervous wreck once again, and then survives through the whole thing and also being told that her and Zeke’s time were up thanks to her anxiety eating up the clock. As I said, this episode had potential, mostly the first and second acts. But once the third act comes in, yeah, the wheels decided to break apart from the bike.
There’s pretty much nothing to say about the subplot despite that I knew that it was going to downplay the episode, but my god...that was bad. I knew that it was going nowhere with Bob and Linda dealing with what to do with the discount produce, but...it’s bad. It’s fucking bad. Bob and Linda had some issues in getting rid of the box full of produce, but even if they did, it would keep on biting them right in the ass. Tried to feed it to the family, didn’t work. Tried to use it as a parting gift to the customers, nope. Going into the pickled food business, not a chance. I mean...did the produce that each crew member got from the store fucked them in the digestive system to cause them to write the subplot into the episode? But yeah, the subplot pretty much comes down to a massive waste of time.
So final thoughts on the episode, it has potential to be a good episode. Mostly the first and second acts of the episode, but the third act is where the episode becomes a complete predictable mess. Though the subplot with the produce was more of a mess than the main plot. There are some fine moments in the episode. There are some moments where you could treat this episode as a freaking ship tease, whether being Tina/Zeke, Rudy/Chloe, Louise showing little signs of jealousy. Not to mention, that little scene during the search for the crystal with Tina doing a strip search on Jimmy Jr. But other than that, this was a mess. But I wouldn’t hit the panic button just yet, burger fans. Again, this is only week two and hopefully, this weekend’s upcoming episode can make some improvements. So I’ll give “Crystal Mess”...
A 3 out of 10. And for an episode named “Crystal Mess”...yeah, it was a mess indeed. But that’s pretty much my opinion and apparently, I’m gonna get called out for what I said, but that’s just my opinion and I wanna hear yours and your mini-review down below in the comments. And like I said in the introduction, we got a Halloween episode this upcoming weekend and it’s a Linda and Gayle episode as they head on down to their hometown to face some demons, not actual demons but something in the past that they need to deal with on Halloween night in the third episode of Season 12 in “The Pumpkinening”.
Follow me over on Tumblr, Twitter, and Instagram for updates and behind-the-scenes stuff. The Battle of the Week Voting Tournament is now in its final stages with the Semifinals with Round 1 begins this upcoming Sunday, October 10, with Krillin from Dragon Ball and Italy from Hetalia. And later on October 24 with Courtney Wheeler from Bob’s Burgers and Luz Noceda from The Owl House. So be on the lookout for the polls. And if you wanna help your boy out...
- PayPal: https://www.paypal.me/yahoo201027
- Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/yahoo201027
- Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/Y8Y8K4OP
Y’all know the drill. PayPal, Patreon, and Ko-fi pages are the way to go to help this son of a bitch out in both improving the page and creating some content, as well as paying the bills and keeping the lights on. And until this upcoming Sunday with the Halloween episode, stay safe, wash your hands, wear a mask, get vaccinated, and I’ll see y’all later.
***Bob’s Burgers is owned by 20th Century FOX, Bento Box Animation, and Loren Bouchard. Please Support the Official Release***
No comments:
Post a Comment